There is a legend among space-workers that when someone dies during the building of a starship that ship will be cursed. When a mechanic is crushed beneath the new engines during construction, the owners of The Nebula Dream hush up the incident. Still word gets out among space-workers that the ship is cursed... [And? No one is willing to fly on it?]
NICHOLAS JAMESON (Nick) knows his military career in the Consolidated Star Guard is over. He’s been ordered to report to Sector Hub ASAP and the quickest way there is on the maiden voyage of the luxurious space-liner The Nebula Dream. The only good thing about the trip is when he meets fellow passenger MARA, a beautiful and no-nonsense interstellar business woman. [When you've been in the military and now you're cruising on a luxury liner, there's got to be more than one good thing about the trip.] Before Nick has a chance to ask her out, though, the Nebula Dream collides with an uncharted asteroid field. [When you ask someone out on a bus, you figure she probably lives in the same city as you. When you ask someone out on a space liner, you're lucky if she lives on the same planet as you.]
On his way to an escape pod Nick encounters KHEVAN, a D’vannae brother, one of an order of lethally trained holy men. [I don't want any job that requires training that's lethal.] Nick and Khevan meet Mara and help her save two trapped children. After discovering all the lifeboats are gone, the group heads for the bridge in hopes of getting some answers and some help. On the bridge Nick realizes the ship has taken a shortcut through enemy territory in an attempt to make up time after various ship malfunctions. No distress call has been sent. Nick’s party and the survivors in the lifeboats are stranded and at the mercy of the Mawreg, who will undoubtedly come to investigate the incursion.
Nick’s party retrieve [If "party" is getting a plural verb, why didn't "group" get one last paragraph?] a communication device from the hold that Nick hopes to use to call for rescue. They manage to flee the Dream in a small cutter and rendezvous with a nearby freighter. [Luckily there was a freighter also going through enemy space to make up time.] Nick tells Mara he needs to return to the Dream and release the 850 passengers in cryo sleep. Mara goes with him. [If I booked passage on a luxury cruise, I'd be pigging out at the buffet six times a day, not lying in cryo sleep. If I'm spending an entire space voyage asleep, I'm stringing up a hammock on the cheapest garbage scow I can find.]
Together they release the cyro pods, [They went to release the passengers, not the pods. I assume they open the pods. And shouldn't that be cryo pods?] [Escape pods, cryo pods . . . is every enclosure on this ship named after a legume casing?] but a Mawreg ship arrives and the two of them are trapped in the engine [pod.] room, waiting for the ship to blow. [Where are the 850 passengers they released? Probably pigging out at the buffet.] At the last moment, Nick and Mara are rescued by marines. [How convenient.] The Nebula Dream explodes, [Hey, this is sort of like the Titanic.] destroying the Mawreg ships too.
On the rescue battleship, Nick is given a battlefield promotion for his bravery. [They can take their promotion and shove it. A week ago they were drumming him out of the Corps. Now that he's hot they want their piece of the Nick pie.] Nick proposes to Mara, wanting to make the most of the life that has been given back to them, for themselves and for those who were not so lucky on that ill fated voyage aboard the Nebula Dream. [Hey, we've known each other three days, all of which we've spent on the verge of death; of course I'll marry you.] [Is there a honeymoon cryo pod that sleeps two?]
I'm not sure we need that first paragraph. This seems to be Nick's story more than the Nebula Dream's, so the coverup of the death during construction, and the curse, would seem to be minor subplots.
This could be set on Earth, with a cruise ship. Terrorists instead of Mawreg. No pods, but most of the people on a cruise ship are in cryo sleep anyway.
I've pointed out a few places where the plot inspired questions. If some of them seem like glaring problems, you might want to remove them or explain them.