Saturday, October 14, 2006

You make me soooo mad, Evil Editor.

McSwilligans has left a new comment on your post "Book Update":

Go fuck yourself, Evil Editor. You start a blog under the pretext of giving free advice to novice writers, then turn it around and make a book based on their contributions. Since they did the bulk of the work, I don't think the idea of you sitting back and collecting all the money from book sales sits well with them.

1. There was never a pretext to give advice, free or otherwise. This blog is for my own entertainment, and that of anyone who enjoys it. Show me where I offered advice.

2. "They" did very little work. The openings were written already, not written for this project. The continuations are about 75 words each, many of them far fewer. A few minutes of work. I, on the other hand, have put a good 100 hours into this project, having designed the cover and interior, edited, proofread, hounded authors for contracts, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.

3. Cash cow? After paying for production and shipping of the book, ISBN's, etc. etc., I expect to be out $1500 - $2000. And I've declared if the book miraculously makes back more than I spend, the profits will go into a sequel.

4. And what's it to you, anyway? Not only have you contributed nothing to the book, I don't recall seeing a single contribution of anything to this blog by a "McSwilligans" since it started. Not even a comment. You drop in for the first time ever, and decide people care what you think?

5. How many copies can I put you down for?


Anonymous said...

Oh, thank the Lord - we have a spokesperson at last. Now we're just one step from organized labor. I feel such a fool, signing away my rights - well a right - to those 75 lucrative words.

Seriously, though - if I do see a Ferrari, license plate EE 1, parked up at the marina next to the yacht Novel Deviations, I'm comin' aboard...

Anonymous said...

LOL! Give the guy a break - he mis-posted. That's obviously a continuation submission for "Library"...

Anonymous said...



You're such a ray of sunshine, McSwilligans. Now be a good boy and crawl back into the hole you came out of--


Dave Fragments said...

That's so out of line. I haven't read anything that childish since I was in sixth grade.

Anonymous said...

I really resent being called a novice writer. With one book out and another on the way, I like to think of myself as a published writer. And quite frankly, I don't take EE's comments as advice. I look at them as fun reading and I check this site every morning while I drink my coffee.

Sheesh. Everyone's an expert.

Luna said...

Wow, I feel so much better know McGinSwilligans is here to save the day.

Cue Mighty Mouse theme.

What a wanker.

Anonymous said...

Did I miss a memo or something? I must have because I didn't know today was Asshole Alert day. Kinda like Amber Alert, but a lot better for my nerves. Too bad I missed it. My day would have gone a lot better.

*huggles* EE. You're not alone in the wanting to mock and/or strangle these idiotic excuses for cretins.


After that SDI tïngy, this don't mean feces.

Stay on Groovin' (DNA Jungle) Safari,

Anonymous said...

McSwilligans-- EE is right. I'd already written my beginnings. It was no work at all.

And he does help writers.

I appreciate the minions' feedback and thank EE for providing this forum. In the face-lift portion, he's reworked my query letters, helping me see where they could clearer.

For that, he can have my less than perfect words.

I'm not a dumb-ox about writing credit either. I realize some editors and agents in the industry will know about Novel Deviations and be unimpressed with my contributions, but at least they'll know I'm out here working at it. Those who are not so aware of the ND, will just file it in the back of their mind as she's published in something and may actually look at a few pages if the query is good.

It's been fun. Lighten up.

Anonymous said...

So, which anonymous opening did "McSwilligans" write, do we think? At this point, I'm wondering if it's the one for which I wrote the continuation.

My offer stands: I'll submit the opening from my first draft, if you'll send in the goddam release. That opening is pretty mockworthy, so if you're peeved about how your opening looked here, then here's your chance to get back. Otherwise, you have to wait until my rewrite is finished, and that opening will suck a lot less than the one I'm offering here.

Send in the release. Then, vengeance!

Anonymous said...

Guess the Plot: McSwilligan's

1. Marvin Pooblebump opens a swanky Irish bar - but discovers early on that he must change its name to attract customers.

2. Annoyed by repeated assaults on his literary virtue, a novice writer decides that publication - even on EE's blog - is better than total anonymity.

3. A troup of vampires, bored with swilling blood, follows a verbose and annoying drunk to his favorite watering hole - only to discover it is already crowded with zombies.

GutterBall said...

Oi. Someone didn't have his/her coffee this morning.

If you don't think knowing what an editor/agent thinks at any given point in your query/opening, you need a little more than coffee to get you going. Whether it's intended as help or entertainment, Mr. Evil's comments are invaluable, as are the minions'.

I haven't sent in a darn thing to be critiqued yet, but I've still profited from watching them work someone else's words. If you, McSwilligan, haven't been helped in at least a small way, you are simply recalcitrant. Um, that means willfully stubborn, and it's usually a bad thing. Hint, hint.

Anonymous said...

With all of the people who really do need advocates in the world, I hope that McSwilligans will find a more noble cause to triumph.

writtenwyrdd said...

I feel safe now. SAFE, do you hear me? Because McSwilligans (?) is looking out for my welfare. Never mind that I am an adult and capable of making up my own mind about things.

And you have to wonder what gave this dude the idea that we were offered tuteledge, advice, or even salvation here?

If you start giving out the Nitwit awards like Miss Snark does, I vote this individual gets the first one.

Anonymous said...

It's the same thing I've seen in any other gathering or organization that I've been involved with, from professional organizations, to writing groups, to kid soccer, to Scouts -- those who sit back and give nothing are the first and loudest to complain about any little old thing and are the most easily offended.

Talia said...

Maybe the next edition should be on anger management? Seems there are a few people who could use it. Failing that McS needs to pummel a pillow or go for a run and get rid of that aggro :)

Anonymous said...

1) It's on a voluntary basis.
2) They're not signing off all their rights; they're just giving EE the right to publish their opening in a book. They can still use it themselves.
3) It's not a money cow by a long shot.

writtenwyrdd said...

Ah, talia, obviously we need to collect funds so that McS can see the surgeon to remove his head from, well, a very dark place.

Anonymous said...

Ass. -JTC

Anonymous said...

Scary stuff, EE.

I, for one, am grateful for your site. It makes me laugh and got me scribbling again. And if you use my continuations, I'd be thrilled.

Kanani said...

I was surprised that you had a book in mind, but in a way, it all makes sense. Given that you were on here 24/7, I'd say you did a lot of work yourself.

I enjoyed my time on your blog. I hadn't done any critique work in awhile, and was getting ready to re-enter a class where the demands were going to be high. Having the chance to read, observe and articulate what I thought with the intent of helping people make their work stronger, helped me get back into the proverbial saddle.

I hope when the MOVIE version comes out, you'll consider me for the part of the grocery checker who writes novels on the back of unwanted receipts.

s.w. vaughn said...

You're spending $2k on this, EE??

I was merely impressed before. Now I'm in awe...

I'm good for a few copies myself. :-) Thank you for hounding me!

Stephen Prosapio said...

Of all the humor in that post, EE's point #5 takes the "Almost Made Me Spit up My Coffee" prize of the day!

I love this site but honestly wouldn't have bought the book. McSwilligans's post has made me see the error of my ways. Now I'll buy two!

Anonymous said...

McSwilligans has inspired me, truly. To ask if EE would consider putting a paypal button on his blog so I can support what is probably the only way I'll see print legitimately.