Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Guess the Plot
When an Angel Falls
1. They didn't call him Cathetel the Klutz for nothing, but they thought if they kept him out in the garden he couldn't do any harm. However disaster looms for both Heaven and Earth when he steps on a rake and falls into some bushes where Azazel is working on creating the Nephilim.
2. Iquiem is the clumsiest Seraph ever to crash head-first into the Pearly Gates. But when the time comes for the annual Pinhead Ball, she is determined that this time, she will dance with the best of them. Even if she has to sell her soul to the devil.
3. Everyone thought Sedona was the most peaceful place on Earth, but when Saffron suggests that Amelianne's figurine of Ambriel is made of glass, all Hell breaks loose. Literally
4. In this heartwarming holiday sequel, little Zuzu Bailey thinks it's a wonderful life until a drunken Clarence loses his wings and falls through the Bailey's ceiling. Now George has another problem on his hands.
5. Felicity is only 13 but she has it all: Wealthy parents, the sweetest personality and talent. But when she slips and grazes her pretty little knee, her tantrum releases the beasts of Hell.
6. Laura the Arrogant Angel falls from grace and learns valuable life lessons as she struggles for redemption and forgiveness.
Dear Mr. Evil Editor,
I have written a spiritual book about a subject that appears, in varying degrees, within most religions that have been held by man throughout history. The story explores the realm of angels.
Most literature regarding the subject of angels is in the form of descriptive reference material, or events centered around the effects of an angelic presence on mortal lives. My book takes a unique and bold approach by offering the reader a glimpse into the world beyond mortality through the trials and growth of an angel. [There are numerous novels featuring angels, including fallen angels, so it's probably best to let someone else describe your approach as unique and bold.]
When an Angel Falls is a completed manuscript of 130,000 words. It is a work of religious fiction that takes place beyond our planet, encompassing the war in Heaven, and the expansion of known Universe. The story examines the life of an arrogant angel called Laura. It details her fall from grace and her struggle for redemption.
[Laura: I don't like to brag, but I have to admit I'm a damn good angel. Possibly the best angel ever. Certainly better than these other cretins.
God: I banish you to eternal torment in the lake of fire.
Laura (after ten seconds in the lake): You know, I'm probably barely in the top fifty percent of angels . . . OKAY, OKAY, I'm the worst @#&%$# angel ever. I suck. Now get me the hell outta here!]
When an Angel Falls is a story that reminds us that shame can be overcome with hope and patience, and that the path toward forgiveness does have an end. [That's your plot, your last three sentences. Replace the middle one with specific details. Why did Laura fall from grace? What's involved in her struggle for redemption? Are there any humans in the book? Who are the other important characters? In short, get rid of all the vague description of the book, and tell us what happens.]
Thank you, Mr. Evil Editor, for taking the time to read my query. I have enclosed an SASE for your response.
That's an awfully short query for an awfully long book; I'm guessing you could cut it to 90,000 words without losing anything vital.
Why am I pulling my punches? Do I subconsciously fear that if I'm critical of a religious book query, I'll be struck down in mid-sentence? Surely there's no reason to wor