Sunday, August 16, 2009

Bad Query 1

Dear Evil Editar

I know you're not a real editar but I thought I'd give you a try.

I am seeking represetation for my 90000 word epic fantasy (roamnce).

As my theme I have chosen a haunted bus ride so you can guess the kind of whacky things that go on within it! There's ghosts, wong turnings and everything — even a back wheels overhanging a cliff scene (featuring Amy, my main character and girlfriend of three years).

I chose the the theme of a bus ride because my Grandpa used to drive one of those in his early youth days before he started becoming a salesman. He had a dark pointy waxed mid-black moustache and used to wear the kind of dungarees they had in the Waltons, only smarter and never with checks only stripes or plain. Everybody loved him, especially the kids, for he used to wistle songs from the movies whilst he drove between stops and sometimes at the stops if there was a cripple. I got the idea for the ghost part when he died last winter after a long illness that robbed him of his speech and his dog died too, just before. So the driver in my haunted bus is my Grandpa, which I know will be totally original.

I play drums in a band called The Creeps but other than that I am undiscovered although I did commit a minor minor felony when I was 8 nothing serious.

Get back to me before I’m snaped up!!!

--Whirlochre

8 comments:

Sophia said...

ROFL! Brilliant, Whirlochre!

fairyhedgehog said...

Truly wonderful, Whirl. I love the creative spellings, too.

Khazar-khum said...

Wong turns? Is it a bus from Chinatown?

Sarah Laurenson said...

Quick, before he is snaped up!

Awesome job, Whirl!!!!

Dave F. said...

That's so amazingly bad, so awful, so much fun. Good stuff.

Xiexie said...

When bad is so good--> Good on you Whirlochre

Jeb said...

This is devastatingly bad. I laughed all the way through, and my cat is looking at me funny.

Rick Daley said...

Love the voice, you created a monster! I bet there are more queries than any of us would like to count that have similar violations of every grammatical element in existence.