Monday, November 10, 2008

Extremely Short Story 3

Justin and Andy sat in the pumpkin patch plotting their atrocity while Doorstep chased moles. "Let's run through it again," Andy said. "I'll lure the kids into the shed; then you smash their heads until they're unconscious, and then I'll cut off their heads and limbs with the chain saw and we'll drain their blood into buckets."

"I'm not sure I can knock someone unconscious; can I practice on some pumpkins?" Justin asked.


"Okay, but not out here," Andy replied, and Justin jumped up and down with excitement. He wanted to be part of the game.

"Okay, let's get these pumpkins to the shed," Andy called. "We're gonna need some hammers and buckets!" Justin jumped up and down again, and Doorstep wagged his mighty tail.

If Andy had been born a dog, he would've been a tail-wagger too.


--Evil Editor/Chris Eldin

12 comments:

Kiersten said...

Seriously sick, EE. I'm never letting you babysit my kids again.

Anonymous said...

This beginning is so "no you didn't" meets "brilliant."

writtenwyrdd said...

Deliciously awful.

Dave F. said...

This is kinda dark. Are you sure you don't write SAW or HOSTEL? or some other movie like that?

batgirl said...

kiersten, are you sure it was _your_ kids you picked up at the end of the night?
-Barbara

ChrisEldin said...

OMG!!!!
I'm sitting by myself, laughing out loud!
EE, you are truly evil!

I have to go back and read this over and over... for the sequel...

Sarah Laurenson said...

Um. Oh my. That was... Well, it was... Wow.

EE, you're almost as twisted as WO. And that's saying a lot.

Very nicely, though savagely done.

sylvia said...

*shiver*

Robin S. said...

Wow, EE. You're wicked sick. I got a chill down my back reading this one.

Chris, are you rethinking your genre, girl?

Loved the image of the tail-wagging happy excitement of the little boy!

Anonymous said...

Almost skipped over this, but I'm glad (I think) I didn't. Quite a seamless (albeit evil)meshing of the two worlds. Hey maybe you've invented a mini-genre!?!

Meri

Whirlochre said...

I think these could be marketed at the major airlines.

Like fortunes in cookies, you could maybe get these on the napkins of in-flight meals...

batgirl said...

Doorstep is a great name for a dog, by the way.
-Barbara