Guess the Plot
The Spontaneous Separation of Cake Batter, the Carotid Artery, and the Way Things Were
1. An old man has a reputation for complaining about how things were better in the past. His pacemaker explodes spontaneously during his birthday, leading to unexpected but inevitable hijinks at the nursing home.
2. 19-year-old Noa teaches a baking class based on the Great British Baking Show. Which is how she meets Sam, who becomes first ever boyfriend. But what if he finds out she bakes magical wishes into her pastries? Includes recipes.
3. After a supremely obese chef's cake batter splits, he gets a revelation about his life. And the depression that comes with it.
4. The Halloween episode of Bake It Live! goes weird when the undead chefs (a vampire, a zombie, and a ghoul) get into an argument about something that happened at a garden party they all attended 352 years ago. Also, croquet and croquettes.
Original Version
Dear Agent,
As you are interested in [PERSONALIZATION], I’m hopeful you will consider my YA contemporary novel, THE SPONTANEOUS SEPARATION OF CAKE BATTER, THE CAROTID ARTERY, AND THE WAY THINGS WERE. [That title may work when they make a movie of your book, and there's a big screen to put it on, but, as this illustration shows . . .
Not only is there room for your name, but there's a picture of an irresistible cake. It could even be a cake you made! This is a cookbook, right?]
Nineteen-year-old Noa Strauss is doing fine. Sure, she had to turn down her acceptance to Oxford after her dad had a devastating stroke, but she’s getting her Associate’s from community college and it’s fine. And yes, taking care of her disabled dad is stressful and heartbreaking, but that’s why she’s teaching a fun Great British Baking Show-inspired baking class to seniors at the local rec center and it’s fine. [I've watched enough of the GBBS to know that it, too, is stressful. Though rarely heartbreaking.] Her mother got a job in another state leaving Noa all alone to go a little crazy because she’s starting to think she can bake wishes into her pastries and affect the people who eat them, and that’s fine too. [You keep saying that. I'm not sure you know what it means.]
But when ten-year-old Jesse starts hanging around Noa’s baking classes, they strike up an unusual friendship that will change her life. Through Jesse, she meets his serious and soft-spoken older brother, Sam, who Noa feels an immediate connection with. [Not a stickler for who/whom or ending with preposition, but changing "who" to "with whom" sounds better to me.] As someone who thinks sexual attraction is a conspiracy theory and has never met someone like her, this connection is both frightening and exhilarating. [Who are we talking about? Apparently Noa, but then that should be "someone like Sam."] However, when Noa’s aunt decides to contest guardianship for her dad, Noa’s it’s-all-fine mask cracks. She is forced to deal with the grief she feels for her still [-] alive father, the terrifying nature of falling in love for the first time, and the mystery of figuring out if she’s a little bit magic. [Has she tried feeding her father a piece of cake in which she baked the wish that he'd fully recover?] When Noa finally hits her breaking point, will she be able to face what has happened to her it’s-all-fine life?
Interwoven with recipes, THE SPONTANEOUS SEPARATION OF CAKE BATTER, THE CAROTID ARTERY, AND THE WAY THINGS WERE combines the family-driven coming-of-age exploration of Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl, a touch of magic (and food) from Laura Esquivel’s Like Water for Chocolate, and a love of baking from The Great British Baking Show. This is a stand-alone novel, complete at 90,000 words.
[BIO]. While this novel is not autobiographical, Noa’s father is inspired by my father and her struggles with grief and identity come from my own experiences.
Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.
Notes
A few things I'm not sure about, and it wouldn't take more than changing or adding a word or two to clear them up:
Is the aunt an evil person? Because if I were 19 and someone else wanted to take over care of my disabled father, I'd be all for it. This is dad's sister, right? If she can be trusted, I'd be off to Oxford.
Has mom abandoned the family, or is she working this out-of-state job to pay the medical bills, and comes home weekends? I assume the former, as auntie wouldn't be trying to get guardianship otherwise.
Do we need Jesse in the query? He seems to be there only to explain how Sam and Noa meet. You could remove "for seniors" from the baking class description, and say they met through the class. You could even remove "for seniors" in the book, as plenty of young guys compete on the Great British Baking Show. Sam would surely take the class, especially if he knew the instructor was a hot babe like Noa.
You won't spoil the book for the agent if you reveal that Noa does have a bit of magic. That may prove to be a selling point.
Are the recipes your own? And are magical wishes among the ingredients?
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