Friday, June 01, 2012

Amusing Excerpt 5

Actual (or not) amusing (or not) excerpts from (or not from) minions' WIPs. If you have constructive criticism or unadulterated praise, feel free to comment.

“I am a very lucky man in many ways, my dear Miss Ehlana. I have the ability to use magic and, as a nobleman, was given the opportunity to demonstrate this to our lovely Queen Jyssine.” Galton answered.

“What ye be doing to be ticking off a cult and be getting yeself branded a marked man? And, don’t tell me it be because ye stole from the wrong people. That be putting a sorry light on my great deed.”

“I am afraid I do not know what I did to earn the disfavor of any worshipper of any religion. I try to avoid religion and those that practice it,” Galton answered sincerely.

“Aye, never a good idea to be getting on the wrong side of the holy folk.”

“Exactly. I knew you would understand,” he said with a clap of his hands. “Now that we are done speaking of my past, let us speak of your future. For your great deed, you could be well -favored by the royal court, if you so desired. Perhaps even granted a place within the court for your bravery.”

“Me in the royal court? Are ye daft?”

“Yes, I do believe sometimes I am,” Galton replied. “But not today, I am serious.”

“The court don’t be needing the likes of me.”

“There are many people in the court that it does not need. In fact, probably most in the court are not needed. I no doubt could be counted as one of them. You would fit right in,” he said.



PLaF said...

I loved the voice of Miss Ehlana and the way these characters play against each other.

One thing bugged me: But not today, I am serious.
Is that an error in punctuation?

Dave Fragments said...

It's like a celebration of leprechauns and fairies all in one. It made me want a green beer...

Maureen said...

I wondered about the same thing as PLaF... Feels like there should be a dash or a full stop or something to separate the two.

I don't think I could handle the voice for much longer than a couple of pages --- there be too many "be"s! But the contrast between the two was really well done and in this excerpt, it works quite well.