Sunday, May 01, 2011

Auction Update

The Brenda Novak Auction is underway. In April I made the following suggestion:

Feel free to bid up EE's editing services in the early going, even if you don't want them, in order to create a bidding frenzy, and to draw attention to this blog from people who are unaware of it, in hopes that they'll submit queries and openings.

You were probably thinking, Yeah, right, I join your conspiracy and the next thing I know I owe 80 bucks for your editing services, and I've never written anything longer than a grocery list, and you stink as an editor anyway. Find another sucker, asswipe.

Fair enough. However, I'm so confident that you will NOT win these auctions if you bid no higher than the maximums I've set, that I will pay you back the amount of your bid if you somehow win.

Auction 3 below has never sold for less than $1000, and has averaged $2500 over the past four years. Thus I feel safe saying that I'll pay you back if you get stuck with it for any amount up to $500.

Auction 2 Carries a max of $100.

Auction 1 I've never offered before, and while it should be worth almost as much as Auction 3, it has only two days instead of 31 to conclude, so I'll play it safe with a max of $250. Oops, it's already gone over that. Lucky me.

The Fine Print:

Note that if you actually WANT to win Auction 3, and you end up bidding $2000, I am not paying you back $500. I pay only if the bidding doesn't go higher than what I've set as the maximums. Also, you have to email me after you win the auction for less than the maximum and declare that you were bidding only because you read this post and knew you'd get paid back. I don't want someone who's never even been to this blog, and who bid because he/she wanted the service, getting out of paying.

Also, if I end up paying you back, I get to declare the amount spent as a charitable contribution on my taxes, and you don't.

Also, I reserve the right to outbid you at the last minute in order to get out of editing your work, even though that would cost me more.

Auction 1

(Two-day auction, ends May 2nd)

Auction 2

Editing Job on the First 10,000 Words of a Novel by EVIL EDITOR

Auction 3

Your book (up to 100,000 words) edited by Evil Editor


REGULAR LISTINGS (sorted and displayed after any featured listings)

YOUR BOOK Discussed by Evil Editor in August Book Chat

The Evil Editor Cartoon DVD, signed.

Novel Deviations, Volumes 1, 2 and 3, signed by Evil Editor

Why You Don't Get Published, Volumes 1 and 2, signed by Evil Editor


Sylvia said...

Ouch, you are going to be VERY busy!

David said...

I bid on the ten thousand word edit, but this isn't an official e-mail notification. I know someone with diabetes, so thank you for putting all this up.

Jo-Ann said...

Yeah, EE, you're actually very generous to donate your time in this way.
Call me psychic, but I get the feeling you're.... not really evil at all.

none said...

Much as I love you, no way!

Stephen Prosapio said...

I've got a few bids out. Maybe I'll get lucky...