Face-Lift #229, FireHouse
When right-wing petroleum tycoons from the Amazon threaten to incinerate all of New Jersey with their "Firehouse" bio weapon, only fashion designer Alara Bouzenbottom stands in their way.
Upstart fashion designer Alara Bouzenbottom's on fire--her line of edible prom dresses won first place in the Hackensack Mall "shoppers' choice" competition, and she just got a letter saying she may already be a winner. But her luck turns sour when she's mistaken for the Brazilian ambassador and is abducted by corporate terrorists from the Amazon. See a list of diplomats at the Consulate General of Brazil in New York. When an ill-timed hand gesture, a labradoodle with Lyme disease, and an albino midget with a speech impediment combine to cause an unfortunate misunderstanding, the terrorists come to believe that Alara is actually a molecular biologist, See the complete list of Ig Nobel Prize Winners and they insist she make them a new doomsday weapon. To save her own life, she must use all her culinary skills and fashion acumen to give them what they want. When she finds they mean to use the new weapon to incinerate her home town along with the rest of New Jersey, however, the choice she makes could change the face of the world. Get information on starting a new career with the California Culinary Academy. For ever.
I have published one short story in the literary journal "I Could Spit," and my poem "edible outerwear" won honorable mention in my high school's greeting card contest. I made and wore my own edible prom dress, and although I've never invented a doomsday weapon, my little brother knows how. I've given him your address.
Thank you for your time, and if you're interested, I'll send the full manuscript and tell my little brother to pick a different target.