Saturday, June 21, 2008
Guess the Plot
1. By day he's an entrepreneur hunting business deals. By night, John Faustus tears the flesh of those he hunts. Hey, it's not personal; it's just business. But will John change his ways when he learns he's gotten another werewolf pregnant?
2. Under the light of the full moon, Rod undergoes a horrifying and painful transformation, losing his humanity and replacing it with claws, teeth, fur, and a lust for blood, in a story unlike anything else ever writ-- What do you mean it's been done before? Crap.
3. Joel Van Sandt, trucker, specializes in dangerous jobs. If it's corrosive, flammable, or just plain nasty, he and Werewolf, his customized Peterbilt, have hauled it. He's ready to retire when Hank, an old friend, asks him to make one last delivery of nitro to a coal fire. Is this the end for Werewolf? Or will its last haul be a final victory?
4. When you hit puberty, you start growing hair in all kinds of places, but not as many as Jason McEwe. At first, it's kind of fun being the hairiest boy in school, but then the prettiest girl Jason has ever seen takes notice of him. Suddenly, Jason's no longer so keen on being the school mascot and is looking instead for a full-body electrolysis salon.
5. Werewolves, weredingos, werecats: it's a new world out there at night since the virus that turns creatures into hairy monsters has taken over. Sarah doesn't know it yet, but she's just inherited an amulet that will protect her and a silver bullet factory that will make her the heroine of her time--and rich beyond her wildest dreams.
6. Kiki has a problem. Every full moon, she hopes and prays things will change--that she'll be healthy, normal, and finally happy. But every month, to her horror, she stays human. Tired of being left out of the pack, Kiki decides to integrate into normal society. But can a girl used to identifying potential mates by smell handle clubbing and college?
John Faustus takes the deal. He can live but in return he will be host to a psychic entity. The entity gives him women, wealth, and power, but it it will control him, will change his memories and even change him physically. By day he is an entrepreneur hunting business deals. At night he tears the flesh of those he hunts. John Faustus has become a werewolf. [A rich, powerful, oversexed werewolf. It was worth it.]
For a while he excuses his actions, abetted by the werewolf's changes to his memories. But as parasite and host learn about each other, they increasingly come to oppose one another. John defies the werewolf, [I thought John was the werewolf. (See final sentence of previous paragraph.)] though he suffers for it. John also forms a bond with another werewolf who seems to be a salvation for him. But Vali drives her away, pregnant with John's child. [Vali? Who's Vali?] John continues to gain power but is universally distrusted. [You gotta expect a little distrust when you spend your nights tearing flesh.]
The war goes to a new level. [War?] John enters the werewolf's [Which werewolf?] otherworld of an endless black sea. The corpses of all those Vali [You keep mentioning that name.] has killed through a centuries float in formation as earth gathers and shifts like clouds around them. Here John learns more about the werewolf, and knows he must stop Vali, the original werewolf.
John Faustus ties up loose ends in this world [He makes out a will, puts his house on the market and pays off his credit cards. Do we really need to know that?] before reentering the otherworld for a final confrontation with the werewolf [Which werewolf?] which one of them, perhaps neither of them, can survive.
Werewolf is a 75,000 word dark fantasy. My previous works include seven books. [If these are published, give details. (Also, why don't you have an agent writing your query letters?) If they're unpublished, they aren't worth mentioning.] I enclose synopsis plus sample. I look forward to hearing from you.
Referring to the psychic entity/parasite as the werewolf is confusing. You've already got John, who has become a werewolf, and Vali, the original werewolf, and the pregnant werewolf. If the psychic entity were actually a werewolf, it wouldn't need Faustus. It would just tear flesh.
Do Vali and the pregnant werewolf also have psychic entities in them?
How can Faustus hope to win a confrontation on a world that's an endless black sea? You can do the dog paddle only so long.
Are your werewolves full mooners, or nightlies? If Vali's been killing nightly for centuries, he's got over 100,000 corpses floating in formation in a sea. You have to admire the patience he must have to keep that going.