Saturday, September 09, 2006

Face-Lift 182


Guess the Plot


Stronger than the Night

1. Hired to come up with a new ad slogan for GE light bulbs, Margo's fledgling ad agency fails miserably.

2. The evening scent of damp earth, woods and stale cigarette smoke wafts through an open window. Angus McDearth doesn't notice, though, because he hasn't bathed since Bessie left him last year.

3. When Cassandra's best friend is killed by psychic vampires, she vows to kill all psychic vampires. Then she discovers that her parents are . . . you guessed it.

4. Every night Bernita struggles in her dreams with malevolent imps that want to prevent the sunrise. Or . . . are they dreams?

5. For years Ella has battled her nyctophobia, with little success. But when vampires kidnap her little brother, her fears become all too real as she races to save him before dawn.

6. Sidney Wipp has been working out, but as the anniversary of his midnight UFO abduction approaches, he also changes his porch light.


Original Version

Dear Evil Editor:

They're hunting the hunter.

Cassandra Lee is the ultimate abomination, a child of two powerful psychic vampires. [Psychic vampires again? Are you the author of the other psychic vampire book we did? Is this different from vampires having "glamour?" What does a psychic vampire do? Bend a spoon with his mind, guess what number you're thinking of, and then drink your blood?] [Do vampires have children the same way creatures that aren't dead have them?] After her best friend is killed by psi-vamps, [Sounds like robot seductresses.] Cassandra swears she'll hunt down every last one of them. Terrified of her power, the psi-vamps want her dead. But a new faction divides the Dark Court. They want to bring Cassandra into the fold and use her power to create their own Territory.

Alex Chandler can't let that happen. The last Abomination brought about mass destruction, leaving his people [Who are his people?] all but extinct. Honor-bound to protect his misguided brethren and prevent history from repeating itself, he takes matters into his own hands. But when he meets Cassandra, he can't believe she's the creature they fear. [Because? She's so sweet and pretty? Is "abomination" the best word? I think of abomination as having physical connotations, at least partly.] He befriends her to get closer to the kill, but neither one of them expects to fall in love.

Cassandra discovers her heritage, shattering her ideals. How can she hunt "monsters" when she is one? [I'd say her chances are much improved, actually.] [If she didn't know she was a powerful monster, what exactly was her plan with regard to hunting down all psi-vamps?] Adding insult to injury, Alex's vampirism is exposed. Furious at his deception, she wants nothing more to do with him. [I don't mind that you're a vampire, darling; I mind that you didn't tell me.] But when her sister is kidnapped by their enemies, [Is her sister, being the daughter of psychic vampires as well, also an Abomination?] Cassandra is forced to beseech Alex's help. Their search uncovers a far deeper plot that threatens both human and vampire alike, leaving both with only one choice: Stand together and fight. [Cassandra = Buffy; Alex = Spike.]

STRONGER THAN THE NIGHT is a completed 100,000-word-long dark urban paranormal romance. I would be happy to send along a synopsis and sample chapters.

As of this writing, my erotic romance novel, A PASSION DRACONIC, has been accepted for publication by Liquid Silver Books. [As of this writing, meaning you'll believe it when you're holding a copy in your hand?] THE TWILIGHT DECEPTION, a paranormal romantic supense novella, has also been accepted by Cobblestone Press. Thank you very much for your time, and I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,


Revised Version

Dear Evil Editor:

Cassandra Lee is the ultimate abomination, a child of two powerful psychic vampires. After her best friend is killed by psi-vamps, Cassandra swears she'll hunt down every last one of them. But the psi-vamps, terrified of her latent powers, are hunting Cassandra as well. Some want her dead. Others want to bring her into the fold and use her for their own purposes.

Alex Chandler can't let that happen. The last Abomination brought about mass destruction, leaving his people, the nice vampires, all but extinct. He's honor-bound to protect his misguided brethren and prevent history from repeating itself. But when he meets Cassandra, he can't believe this beautiful young woman is the creature they fear. As he befriends her to get closer to the kill, they begin to fall in love.

Cassandra discovers her heritage, shattering her ideals. How can she hunt "monsters" when she is one? Worse, Alex's vampirism is exposed. Cassandra is furious at his deception; she wants nothing more to do with him. But when her sister is kidnaped by the psi-vamps who want to take Cassandra alive, she must turn to Alex. Together they uncover a plot that threatens both human and vampire alike, leaving them with one choice: Stand together and fight.

Stronger than the Night is a completed 100,000-word paranormal romance. I would be happy to send along a synopsis and sample chapters. My erotic romance novel, A PASSION DRACONIC, has been accepted for publication by Liquid Silver Books. THE TWILIGHT DECEPTION, a paranormal romantic supense novella, has been accepted by Cobblestone Press. Thank you very much for your time.

Sincerely,


Notes

Actually, it wasn't bad. It did have too many clichés (takes matters into his own hands; adding insult to injury; killed by psi-vamps, etc.), so perhaps it's a bit sharper now.

15 comments:

Bernita said...

My name. In Vein?
Ha.

Anonymous said...

Much sharper now.

Bernita, I thought you wrote that GtP.

Author, this kind of paranormal isn't my cup of tea. I had my fill of Vampires years ago when I'd read Ann Rice's novel, but, I like the vampire immersion!

Bernita said...

I'm not that egocentric, Cathy, and I have never written a Guess-the-Plot.
(too busy trying to guess my own.)

Anonymous said...

What card are you holding up? The King of Spades. Now show me your neck. Yum. Slurp.

Verification word: jgiabbs. My jiggly abdomen. Gotta get back on that Stairmaster.

Anonymous said...

I can't tell whether it was facetious, so I'm just going to note it either way, because I'm sure some people might not know that psychic vampires feed off of other people's emotions and psychig energy, rather than blood.

I've never thought it nearly as cool as fangs.

Anonymous said...

Mind games vampires? I prefer fangs, I think. Surely they suck blood sometimes, right?

writtenwyrdd said...

Dunno, but psychic vampirism is a bit toothless. (ha ha I made a funny.)

I'd probably have to see something really new and intriguing on the back matter or I'd pass on this one. This has been done to death, and generally quite badly. And I love vampire novels.

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

psychic vampires feed off of other people's emotions and psychic energy, rather than blood

In that case, I know a lot of psychic vampires. I had no idea it was okay to kill them. That makes me feel a little better.

HawkOwl said...

Hahaha. "Toothless." That was good. :)

I'm with Bunny Girl. First thing Monday I'm off killing psychic vampires. :)

As far as the writing, eh, I don't do vampires, so no comment. Good luck with it. :)

Anonymous said...

Bunnygirl, they're called 'Evil Entities'. Um, no offence, EE. Meant Silvia Brown's 'dark entities'.

Anonymous said...

I agree the query reads better now, but I'm still a little confused. I get the impression there are a fair number of vampires running around this story. And Cassandra is going to kill them all? This may well come across better in the book, but at the moment, I'm just thinking, isn't that a little extreme?

And a specific question:

Why is Cassandra an abomination when the last person like her was an Abomination? (I.e. with a capital A.)

Okay, that was really picky of me :) Sorry. I don't read this genre, so I'm pretty much reduced to commenting on technical points. Good luck with it.

Anonymous said...

According to the Great Snark, cross-genre novels are hot now so psychic vamps should work.

Liked the revision, EE. Did you know you are described in Absynthe Musings:

'an anonymous grizzled and aged editor with heart tells it like it is'?

Evil Editor said...

WHAT! Where did they get that part about "with heart?"

Anonymous said...

Evil Editor said...

WHAT! Where did they get that part about "with heart?"

Well, they didn't say it was your own, did they?

Anonymous said...

With all the cannabalism around here, EE probably has his pick of hearts.

As for the vampires, I hope it's made clear in the tale why vampires that feed off people's emotions rather than their blood (and so, presumably, don't kill them but just make them miserable) are so horribly dangerous that they must be killed by violence. Wouldn't Prozac in the water supply slowly starve them to death if they couldn't break their addiction/curse?