Transport. The white light of destruction and reincarnation, after which, nothing is the same.
Elias Carson lifted his head and spit out a mouthful of mud. He wiped mud from his face and discovered claws and fangs. New and improved, they cautioned before transport. He turned and sat in the mud. New broad shoulders, too many muscles, no beer gut, feet worthy of a wild animal and a loincloth that almost covered his manhood.
Three meters away, a hot spring bubbled and steamed. Beyond that giant ferns and twisted vines, a vast jungle filled with alien birds shrieking strange calls and crawling things with fangs. A humanoid with fur and three-fingered hands stood at the edge of the mud, waiting. Elias thought the creature's eyes enjoyed his wallow in the mud.
"Where am I?" a deeper and gravel-ridden voice came out of his mouth.
"The Pyetock province of Tau Ceti Prime. Welcome to your new home, Marshall Carson."
"What luxurious mud you have," Elias hesitated, "whoever you are."
"I am D'uhng, keeper of the Royal Excrement," the voice boomed back. "And we don't have any mud."
Opening: Dave F......Continuation: anon.