Sunday, March 07, 2010

Grocery Story 2

Wow, aren't you Evil Editor?

Not so loud, please. I don't want to start a riot.

I knew it. I've read your entire blog, bought your DVD, your false muttonchops and your action figure and signed up for your cruise. I figure you owe me a reading of my partial.

I see you have a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia in your cart.

Yes, it was the last one.

That would explain why there isn't one in my cart.

Guess I'm lucky you didn't get there first.

May I have it?

What about that reading?

Technically, the ice cream isn't yours until you pay for it. The fact that you dropped it into this shopping cart, which also isn't yours, changes nothing. I'm taking it.

Hey, put that back!

Sorry. It's already on the conveyor belt. But I will give you this can of lentil soup.

I don't like lentil soup.

Then I suggest you slip it into the cart of the woman behind you and take her Brussels sprouts.

I'm calling the--

The FBI? Too late, my groceries have all been bagged and I'm in a hurry. Gotta get home before my ice cream melts.

You bast--

Enjoy the cruise. Wish I could be there with you.

--Evil Editor


Sarah Laurenson said...

Beautiful misdirection and some interesting grocery store logic to use next time I'm in line.


Robin B. said...

You know, I bet if you did get us all ready for a cruise, you'd grab the Gsrcia and go the other way, wouldn't ya, Sparky?

_*rachel*_ said...

Trade you an opened box of cheap Fruit Loops knock-offs for tickets on that cruise.

ril said...

I agree -- eventually we will all revert back to a traditional barter system. I'd better develop a taste for lentils.


Dave Fragments said...

I like the idea of a bully in a supermarket. It's so deliciously warped and vain.

dana p said...

An EE action figure! Oh, I want one! The "action" would of course be its laser eyes--

Seriously, this is a must-have item (with or without the laser eyes). I would buy one in a heartbeat.