Monday, July 28, 2008
Guess the Plot
Not Just Jane
1. There's also George. And Judy. And Rosie and Elroy and Astro. What I'm trying to say is that the Jetson family is not just Jane.
2. Frank McFarlane should be happy with the wife his family picked out. And he is--Jane is sweet and good natured, everything he should want. But George wants more--not just Jane, but Sally, Lucia, and Andrea, too. Can he convince them that polygamy is the way to go, or will he be stuck with just Jane for the rest of his life?
3. When Jane took a job in a costume shop she thought it might be a little exciting, but she didn't expect to suddenly develop super powers and become . . . Princess Janisha! From now on, she's . . . not just Jane.
4. When anyone asks who the girl next to gorgeous Maya Jennings is, everyone answers the same thing: "Oh, that's just Jane." But Jane is tired of it, and sets out to make people notice her, too. When her video rant making fun of Maya becomes a viral sensation, everyone notices--including Maya. Is it worth losing her best friend to have everyone know that henceforth, she's . . . not just Jane?
5. Tarzan's a creep. After thirteen years of blissful tree-swinging with Cheetah and Jane, his wife, the ape man announces he wants to swing in the bedroom, too. But a corseted Victorian lady doesn't easily assume loose laces OR loose morals, so Jane takes up a new hobby: Dominance.
6. It sucks being named Jane Doe. It doesn't help that she's quiet as a church mouse at the morgue, where she works. It also doesn't help that she dresses like a homeless woman, especially when a serial killer starts murdering homeless women around the city. Police think she's the next Jane Doe to die. Can Jane develop some fashion sense before it's too late?
Dear Evil Editor,
Some jobs offer the chance of promotion; this one offers a new life.
Until now, fifteen-year-old Jane’s only escape from her ho-hum life and overprotective parents were her day-dreams. But Jane believes the job at the costume shop will provide at least a little excitement. [For instance, she thinks if Spiderman gets ink on his costume while battling Doctor Octopus, he might drop in for a clean set of duds.] What she did not expect was a doorway delivering her into her dreamland. She soon learns her ‘day-dreams’ were actually the result of a close connection with Gregoria, the land of her birth. And her arrival has triggered old rivalries. [What were the odds she'd end up in Gregoria? It's what's known as Gregorian Chance.] [From whom does she learn she was born in Gregoria?]
The Domovye have a long-standing grudge against Jane and her family. [How can they have a long-standing grudge against Jane, when she's fifteen, and she just got there?] Torben, the young captain of the King’s army, helps Jane escape the Domovye. [When did they capture her?] During her quest [What is her quest?] Jane will discover ancient traditions which tie her fate to Torben’s and grant her unique abilities to control her environment with her emotions. In order to harness this power she must learn to control her emotions.
[Torben: Jane, we need a tsunami to wipe out the Domovye army. Go into a jealous rage followed by fear of sharks and then love of puppies.]
Now she must evade capture long enough to claim her birthright, rescue her mother from torment in the enemy’s dungeons [I assume Jane got to Gregoria through the doorway in the costume shop. How did her mother get there?] and reconcile a land torn apart by war and hatred. In order to do this she must remember who she truly is; Janisha, the young Princess -Gregoria’s only hope for peace.
NOT JUST JANE, 45,000 words, is a YA fantasy filled with magic, adventure and first loves.
I thank you for your time for in considering my work.
If by "first loves" you mean Jane and Torben, she's fifteen and he's an army captain. Unless he attained that rank before he finished high school, this sounds a little unhealthy.
Do they use the Gregorian calendar in Gregoria?
What are the Demovye? Another people? Dragons? Aliens?
I think if you answer some of my serious questions with specific information it'll sound less muddled.