Sunday, July 27, 2008

Book Pitch 9

"Greetings, EE," he said. "I know you're a busy man, so I'll cut to the chase. The name's Donatien Alphonse François de Sade. My book could be described as depraved, cruel, philosophy-laden, violent pornography. Some would call me a perverted degenerate, though I prefer to think I'm simply ahead of my time, being that I see the pursuit of personal pleasure as the highest principle."

"I think I--"

"Whoa, I haven't told you about the book. It's called Justine, and it's about this girl who--"

"Mister de--"

" . . . wants to live a virtuous life, but the more she tries, the worse it gets. Even when she goes to a monestery for refuge from the cruel world, the monks make her their sex slave. Then when she--"

"Mister de Sade," I said, "if you'll just listen a moment--"

"I know, I know, too controversial, not right for you, I've heard it all, thanks any--"

"I'm trying to tell you, sir: You had me at 'depraved.' I'll have a seven-figure contract drawn up immediately. While we're waiting, tell me what else you've got on the burners."

--Evil Editor

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just the sort of thing an Evil Editor might want to read!! (Hope you've seen the movie "Quills"!) Good one!!

ME

WouldBe said...

Good one. I'll have to remember that...one word is all it takes, if it is a depraved word.

--Bill H.

Dave F. said...

"You had me at depraved" that's very funny. I think that's the pitch line for half the TV shows on the air today. Very good.

wendy said...

Wendy,

Note to self: include the word "depraved" in each query from now forward.

Seems to be important...

talpianna said...

Marvelous! Only one possible flaw--I don't think the Marquis would let you get away with calling him "Mister."

talpianna said...

Note to self: Do not buy Wendy's version of ANNE OF GREEN GABLES, either...

Wes said...

I feel a little awkward complimenting you, EE, but great job!