"Greetings, EE," he said. "I know you're a busy man, so I'll cut to the chase. The name's Donatien Alphonse François de Sade. My book could be described as depraved, cruel, philosophy-laden, violent pornography. Some would call me a perverted degenerate, though I prefer to think I'm simply ahead of my time, being that I see the pursuit of personal pleasure as the highest principle."
"I think I--"
"Whoa, I haven't told you about the book. It's called Justine, and it's about this girl who--"
" . . . wants to live a virtuous life, but the more she tries, the worse it gets. Even when she goes to a monestery for refuge from the cruel world, the monks make her their sex slave. Then when she--"
"Mister de Sade," I said, "if you'll just listen a moment--"
"I know, I know, too controversial, not right for you, I've heard it all, thanks any--"
"I'm trying to tell you, sir: You had me at 'depraved.' I'll have a seven-figure contract drawn up immediately. While we're waiting, tell me what else you've got on the burners."