Face-Lift 545

Guess the Plot

Triggered

1. When Hattie Barnes accidentally walks into an airport men's room in Philadelphia, she has no idea she's just triggered a series of events that will culminate in the assassination of the Prime Minister of Canada. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

2. When Joe Minkowski signed up for a new experimental procedure, he was just trying to earn a little extra cash. However, now that he's a "trigger"--a human weapon capable of killing hundreds of people at a time--he must decide what to do with the power he's been given. Especially since he still needs some extra cash.

3. Charged with treason, Ramie Ashdyn faces the death penalty. Not only that; an enemy agent has fitted her with a "trigger" that will make her actually become a traitor. Only Rip Rykus believes Ramie's innocent, but he's beginning to wonder if his judgment is clouded by his feelings for her, feelings Rip thought had died six years ago when he finished turning Ramie into a lethal killing machine.

4. In the city of Necropolis, nothing is as it seems. Zombies roam the streets, vampires rule the night, and werewolves make travel dangerous. When the new head of the NRA is found in rigor clutching his rifle in his cold, dead hands, Detective Paul Fontane knows he's looking at a murder. Figuring out the suspect should be simple, since the victim is also missing his brains. But getting around the People for the Ethical Treatment of Zombies protesters to get a DNA sample won't be easy.

5. Travis "Trigger" Thompson thought he was every woman's dream come true. But when a one night stand leads to a dangerous obsession, he finds himself fleeing from a homicidal ex. Desperately trying to figure out which jilted lover has it in for him, Trigger must discover the truth or find himself . . . triggered.

6. When he fires his rifle at a mountain lion outside his cabin, Pete Chalmers triggers an avalanche that buries the cabin and Pete's family alive. Will help arrive before the food is gone? And if not, which family member would make the tastiest dinner?


Original Version

Dear Evil Editor,

Telepaths don't exist, but try telling that to Ramie Ashdyn. [Better yet, try beaming it into her brain.]

After an enemy agent telepathically assaults her, Lieutenant Ashdyn is framed for treason and imprisoned on the Coalition's flagship to await interrogation and possible execution. [What is it she allegedly did?] She’d love to deny the charges against her and prove her government’s stance on telepaths wrong, but each time she tries, she’s silenced by debilitating seizures.

But she has information the Coalition needs, so they bring in Captain "Rip" Rykus, the man who turned Ashdyn into a soldier. Rykus knows how dangerous his former student is, but he also knows her better than anyone else. He doesn't want to believe she's a traitor, but he can't understand why she won't talk, why she collapses, screaming when he interrogates her,

[Mr. Big: Any luck with the interrogation?

Rip Rykus: No. She collapses, screaming in pain, every time I ask her a question.

Mr. Big: Have you considered not sending 5000 volts of electricity into her body each time you ask a question?]

or why she's trying so hard to send him away. He's desperate to prove her innocence, but with so much evidence against her and no denial of guilt on her part, he's afraid his judgment might be compromised by his feelings for her, feelings that should have died six years ago when she completed her training, feelings that never should have developed in the first place [, feelings that nonetheless cannot be denied any longer, feelings that haunt Rip in his dreams and endanger his men when he daydreams about Ramie as enemy agents telepathically bombard the planet with thoughts of Will Ferrell movies, feelings of love and disgust and disgusting love.]

Time is running out for Ashdyn because the enemy agent did more than link her memories with the neural circuit that registers pain; he also changed her into a sleeper agent and inserted a trigger that will make her fears of becoming a traitor come true. [Why did she have fears of becoming a traitor?]

TRIGGERED is a science fiction romance novel and is complete at 85,000 words. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,


Notes

What do you mean "inserted a trigger"? Sent it into her head on a beam of brain waves? Why insert a trigger in someone who's about to be tried for treason? What opportunity will she have to really commit treason? Wouldn't it be better to insert the trigger in someone who won't be in jail, someone who has the trust of the higher-ups, someone with the freedom to do the dastardly things you've programmed her to do?

Have Rip and Ramie been apart for six years? Seems unlikely he would know her better than anyone else if he hasn't seen her in six years.

Rip Rykus seems like a cartoon name. I'm thinking Zapp Brannigan, from Futurama.

We wouldn't mind knowing what she's charged with doing and what evidence they have.