Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Guess the Plot
1. Lila's husband was run over by an armored car. Winning her lawsuit and waking up two million dollars richer ease her sorrow, but Lila doesn't find out what real sorrow is until her ungrateful children start making financial demands and the money begins to ruin her life.
2. Henry’s wife drank all his beer and ran away with the repo man, who ran over Henry’s dog while driving away with his new pickup truck. Now he’s got all the material he needs for a hit country-western song, but he thinks he’ll just go ahead and hang himself instead.
3. Dubuque emo band Grind has a hit on their hands with the florid ode to cutting, 'Sorrow.' But when a fan goes too far and commits suicide, they are suddenly embroiled in a court case. Is this the end of their dreams of stardom . . . or just good publicity?
4. When a brutal serial killer begins stalking the gilded palaces of the Empire, Count Hashii, the infamous Lord Ash, arrives to investigate the murders and to discover the identity of the assassin known only as . . . Sorrow.
5. High-profile medium Katie Flint earned the nickname "Sorrow" because of her dour, sober predictions. Now Katie is experiencing powerful cryptic visions of a catastrophe that could wipe out the town of Grivensham. Aided by an autistic palm reader and a junkie Tarot specialist, 'Sorrow' tries to ensure that this prophesy doesn't come true.
6. Sorrow's name has served as a good description of her life so far. Friendless, she's in danger of losing her job at the library because she refuses to direct patrons to any book with a happy ending. One day a ditty-singing preacher with a spring in his step walks through the door. Can Sorrow change her demeanor soon enough to find romance with Jubilation Jones?
Dear Evil Editor,
A new kind of killer is stalking the gilded palaces of the EroBernd Empire, striking down gentry and commoner alike with apparent impunity. His methods, efficiency, and brutality are unlike anything anyone has encountered. Count Hashii, the infamous Lord Ash, court assassin to the Superbus Tyrannus, travels to the small province of Macula Telum to investigate these murders and discover the identity of the assassin known as Sorrow. [Does the killer sign his victims with the name Sorrow? Or did the people come up with the name? Usually people come up with something scarier, like the Butcher of EroBernd or the Macula Madman.]
Faina, an orphan by assassination, lives in privileged captivity, [She lives in a cage, but she has her own chef.] relying on blood money from an unknown benefactor to maintain her safety. She is innocent, carefree, and gentle. But when the body count begins to rise in Macula Telum, Count Hashii begins to look at her in a new light [--as a possible replacement Superbus Assassin during his upcoming vacation.]
Can a 14-year old girl be the deadly Sorrow? [As she's been described as innocent, carefree and gentle, I'm guessing No.]
Sorrow is complete, a work of Fantasy/Dark Fantasy, and is 80,660 words long.
Thank you for your attention.
Fortunately this was brief; after spending seven hours creating a dinobus, I was in no mood for a drawn out query.
For those editors who don't bother to create dinobi, you might want to fill in a few holes. Like, What is it that leads Hashii to suspect Faina? Who were Faina's parents, and why would she be unsafe without blood money from an unknown benefactor? Who is keeping her captive?
So Hashii is a count, an infamous lord, a court assassin, and an investigator? That's a lot of hats.