Sunday, September 16, 2007
Guess the Plot
Double Star Illusions
1. Unknown to Dak, his twin brother Jak impersonates him on a mission to Froma IV. When the spaceship doesn't return, Dak leads a team to learn what happened, but he doesn't return either, so his son Del heads into space to investigate. Or . . . is it Del's twin brother Mel?
2. Castor and Pollux: are they two innocent twinkling lights in the night sky, or the masterminds behind the nefarious mind-control plot known as The Gemini Project?
3. Astronomer Gus van Brozel is about to go public with a discovery that will rock the cosmos: a mirror-image universe existing slightly to the left of our own. But first he’ll have to deal with his uber-bitch wife, who mocks his life’s work and won’t get off his ass about his constant drinking.
4. They say that when a boxer takes a jab to the head, another star is born. When aspiring welterweight Ivan Borstman takes two hits, a new binary constellation forms and gives form to the evil sorcerer Guanciale, destined to rip planets apart and devour stars whole.
5. Astronaut Hans Tremolo has a hidden drinking problem. When he charts a course for the binary star in the Crab Nebula, he discovers too late that he's seeing Double Star Illusions and his crew is headed for disaster. Can rocket scientist Kiki LeCannes rescue the ship and sober up the drunken captain before they're all space ghosts?
6. Lilith and her twin sister are magicians. Their act has been in Vegas, Chicago, and Buenos Aires. But when a stranger starts stalking them, they realize their cover has been blown, and they'll soon be revealed for what they are: goddesses.
Dear Evil Editor,
Double Star Illusions is a completed science fiction novel of 185,000 words.
On a perilous StarScout mission to Froma IV, unknown to Dak McCarel, his twin brother Jak, takes his place. [If you're supposed to be at your job at Jiffy Lube at seven A.M., I can see turning off the alarm clock and going back to sleep. But if you're supposed to blast off on a misssion to Froma IV, wouldn't you arrange three wake-up calls, set two alarm clocks, and sleep on a bed of nails? In other words, how can Jak replace Dak without Dak knowing?] Something goes wrong [What?] and “Dak” never returns. Rumors erupt that Dak crossed over to the evil Gadion Faction, allowed his teammates to die, [Allowed them to die? "You guys get out of the spaceship for a while, and then I'll open the hatch and let you back in. No, really, I will."] and stole a great find of Kolobmite ore, the most valuable commodity in explored space. [Why is Dak the team member rumored to have gone bad? Why not Mac or Doc? And why doesn't he just say, "Hey, idiots, it's me, Dak. I missed the flight, I'm still here, so you'll have to find another scapegoat.] With false charges hurled at the once vaunted space explorers, the real Dak assumes Jak’s identity, [I'm just glad they weren't triplets.] and begins a hidden crusade to solve the mystery of his missing brother and regain their honor among the StarScouts.
Eighteen years later, believing that both his father, Dak, and uncle, Jak, are dead, Dak’s son Del begins his own dangerous first steps to become a full-fledged StarScout. However, he does not reveal that he is of the once-renowned McCarel family. Aided by his mentor and four teammates, Del heads “Out There” to battle alien creatures, deadly star world environments, the evil Gadion Faction [Six guys taking on the entire evil Gadion faction? I don't think so.] and hostile extraterrestrials [no need to include both extraterrestrials and alien creatures in your list.] in his quest to prove himself worthy of the title StarScout, and to pursue his own answers to the secrets of Froma IV. [Froma IV sounds like a futuristic soft drink. And the secrets of Froma IV are a dash of Tabasco and a few grains of Kolobmite.]
I welcome the opportunity to send you the complete manuscript and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
If Dak didn't know Jak replaced him, and Dak was supposed to be on the mission, I would expect Dak to have revealed that he wasn't on the mission immediately. Yet enough time passes for rumors of Dak's treason to get started (years, presumably), and Dak still hasn't informed anyone that he never left?
How long does it take to get to Froma IV?
It's a bit short, leaving room to clarify those points that are bothersome.
Are you aware there's a popular video game series called Jak and Daxter?