Monday, September 03, 2007
Guess the Plot
Sands of Stars
1. When Thia and her husband both fall for the same man--one who happens to be two men sharing the same body--an interesting relationship develops. In the desert sands. Under the stars.
2. When a well-known bloggist begs his minions to send fake plots for a title with absolutely no meaning, will they rebel? Or will they cave in like the panty-waisted minions that I--that they are--and concoct some blathering nonsense?
3. Erich Mortensen is outraged when Tom Cruise refuses to give his autograph outside the premiere of Ang Lee's Tom Thumb. Mortensen returns to his lab and devises a way to turn celebrities into stone -- but that's only the beginning.
4. Dr. Dave Bowman steps into space in this long-awaited science fiction sequel. But HAL has been demoted to a housekeeping robot, concerned only with the cleanliness of the starship floors. Will Dave's constant tracking in of debris be his final undoing?
5. Stars don't really have sands, beaches and oceans. But Friendly Bob's real estate business, selling bridges and swampland, has petered out. Can he turn things around with his Proxima Centauri beach condo offering?
6. When lightning strikes sand, it turns to glass. So what might a falling star do? Teenage misfit and beach bum Elly Prickett is about to find out.
Dear Evil Editor,
“Sands of Stars” is a romantic fantasy complete at 100,000 words.
Thia refuses to give up on Jeren. She doesn’t care he is a noble of the City and she is a poacher from the Wilds. [Strike one.] She even manages to ignore the fact his mother refers to her as “Jeren’s feral little pet.” [Strike two.] But when she finds him in bed with man on their wedding day, [Strike three, red card, technical foul, penalty box, ejection, game over.]
Jeren: Thia! Okay, I know this looks bad, but--
Thia: We've been married a half hour!
Jeren: And it's been great. But have you seen the abs on this guy?
Thia: I don't care what his . . . Whoa! Slide over, Romeo.]
her stubborn streak really kicks in.
She spoke the vows and she never goes back on her word. [Stubborn is one thing, but I don't think "for better or for worse" is binding when you find your groom reaming the caterer before the reception's even over.]
Determined to salvage her marriage, she travels with Jeren on his next assignment- envoy to the Prince of the desert country. When Jeren sets his sights on the captain of the Prince’s guard, she resolves to keep her husband out of the captain’s bed- even if she can’t keep Jeren in hers. But the good captain has his own secret: he is not quite human. Instead he is [a weredingo.] two men- Seth and Ryn- sharing one life and one body, whose differing sexual preferences have led them to swear to a life of chastity. [Chastity won't cut it in a romance; go with weredingo.]
As Thia’s marriage continues to deteriorate she finds herself turning to the captain for comfort. She grows closer to Seth, a feat made more challenging as Ryn warms to her husband’s advances. [At the same time?] When Thia finally discovers Seth and Ryn’s secret she realizes she’s done it again- fallen in love with a man who can’t be wholly hers. [Regarding the vows she spoke and will never go back on, I take it there was nothing in them about not falling in love with someone who's not quite human?] But the time is coming for Seth choose between becoming one with Ryn and destroying his other half to claim a life of his own. In the end, part of Seth’s choice rests with Thia. [How come Seth gets to choose? Doesn't Ryn get a vote?]
Will she be able to give up a good man, when she still can’t let go of a bad one? [I think she should dump all three of them and marry a human.]
Thank you for your consideration.
[The title of this WIP comes from settting- most of the story takes place in the desert and the stars are amazing in the desert-- silly but true.]
Are Seth and Ryn both conscious at the same time? If not, what's the point of the chastity vow? If so, what happens when they both try to talk at the same time, or when they're driving their car and Seth wants to turn right and Ryn wants to turn left?
Will romance readers respect a character who tries to hold together her marriage to a guy who cheated on her on her wedding day? This would concern me.