Face-Lift 145

Guess the Plot

The Crimson Fairy Book

1. Nadine looks fabulous in her white tutu and leotard as she prepares to the take the stage as the Fairy Princess in her school's production of the Nutcracker. When she suddenly gets her period, her embarrassment flushes her face--which isn't the only thing turning red.

2. When a Satanic entrapment spell is hidden in an innocent picture book for children, only a feisty librarian stands between the girls of the third grade and eternal damnation.

3. A fairy has been murdered in the drawing room at the queen's party! It's up to Dandelion, captain of the palace guard, to bring the killer to justice.

4. The secret killing lore of the Fey Assassins has been stolen. It's up to Feather and her sidekick Basil Gutbraids to catch the thief and exact vengeance.

5. The border between humanity and fairy-kind is eroding with every sneeze. And Celtic mythology expert Raegan Mulrooney just inhaled a whole lot of pollen.

6. A blushing romp through New York's gay bondage scene. Patty O'Furniture, darling of the drag set, explains it all in this how-to guide.


Original Version

Dear Agent,]

I am seeking representation for my first novel, The Crimson Fairy Book. It is a murder mystery, set in a world of fairies and magic, which explores issues of power and authority, as well as the weapons potential of the common rose thorn. [Rarely are murder mysteries that explore the issues of power and authority set in a world of fairies. We'll see.]

The exclusive Queen’s Party, held for the cream of fairy society on Spring’s Eve, is a dangerous thing to attend. [If you're dead set against using the word "party" again, can you at least come up with a better word than "thing" the second time? "Event" or "celebration" would work--although I find myself leaning toward "party."] Character assassination, social ambushing and general backstabbing are the rule of the day, and always have been. [If those are the problems, it's probably even more dangerous if you don't attend.] But when the Foxglove fairy is stabbed through the heart in one of the drawing rooms, [I'm ready to make my accusation: The Crimson fairy, in the drawing room, with the rose thorn.] the Queen feels that things have gone a bit too far. So she charges Dandelion, the newly named Captain of the Palace Guard, [I was going to comment on the captain of the guard having such a wimpy name, but at least "Dandelion" is a step up from the two previous captains: "Pansy" and "the Pink fairy."] with the job of bringing the murderer to justice, as subtly as possible. He, in turn, finds a source of assistance (and aggravation) in Sage, the Palace’s resident scholar of magical arcana and junior hermit. [Is Sage a hermit? Would a hermit reside in the palace?] But Sage has her own questions, and the answers she finds could shake their world of light and magic to its dark core. [What are Sage's questions?] [How come the Foxglove fairy makes it into the query, but the Crimson fairy doesn't?]

The manuscript is complete, approximately 70,000 words long. It is the first in a projected mystery series [Let's hope the others won't be entitled The Blue Fairy Book, The Orange Fairy Book, The Red, Green, Yellow, Pink, Grey, Violet, Brown, Olive, and Lilac Fairy Books, or Andrew Lang, editor of those books and The Crimson Fairy Book, may start to think it's less than a coincidence that your books have the same titles as his.] that features Sage and Dandelion. My previous publication credits include Death, Hollywood Style (short story, Orchard Press Mysteries, October 2002) and Land of the Lost (short story, Futures Mysterious Anthology Magazine, Fall 2004).

Thank you for taking the time to consider my work, I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,


Notes

It's okay, but I'd like to know what it is that threatens to shake their world to its dark core. That would seem to be a vital part of the book.

Amazing how little must be changed to make it sound like a murder mystery in the gay community.

Names like "Dandelion" and "the Foxglove fairy" make it sound like a book for kids, but I doubt kids are interested in the issues of power and authority.

If it's for adults, as the phrases "issues of power and authority," "its dark core," "character assassination, social ambushing and general backstabbing," and "stabbed through the heart" would indicate, the comical names and the fairy-world setting seem odd. If it's first and foremost a fantasy, fantasy readers won't mind a murder mystery thrown in. If it's first and foremost a murder mystery, the fairy-world setting may lose you a large portion of your mystery-reader audience. Just an opinion.