Why you don't get published.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Explanation
The "New Beginning" Posts consist of the first 150 words of an author's book, followed by a continuation of the book provided by one of Evil Editor's minions. The author, of course, will be hoping for some comments on the book part. To submit the first 150 words of your book, email Evil Editor. To provide a continuation, visit Evil Editor's Openings.
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20 comments:
Hey, EE:
You're gonna keep a rotation of some kind among NBs, Facelifts, and Q&As, right? Like a radio DJ? Heavy rotation on the popular stuff, medium rotation on the necessary stuff, light rotation on the up-and-coming stuff?
-lurking minion
This post is dated July 31st? It's not Monday ANYWHERE on the planet right now. I know Evil Editor aspires to be an Evil Overlord - is this proof that he isn't even on Earth at the present time? Is it already Monday in Evil Editor's Evil Overlord Base of Operations?
I'm scared.
c'mon anon#2--
We all know that Evil Editor is the nexus of time travel, itself.
1. The rotation depends on what the minions submit. At the moment we have far more NB's than queries, and far more queries than Q & A's.
2. Dating a post in the future allows it to remain at the top, which was desirable in this case, as people tend to read from the top.
This is all getting so damned complicated anymore.
New Beginning Commandments:
1. Thou Shalt Not Obsessively Refresh and Check Comments on One's Beginning.
*Refreshes*
2. Thou Shalt Refrain from Panicked Justification When Someone Reacts Negatively (even though Omigod, how can you possibly say you don't buy it when I haven't even told you the cop is on a kamikaze mission hunting a werewolf--seriously, it's brilliant in context).
3. Thou Shalt Grow from Criticism, and Not Allow it to Completely Derail Your Momentum.
*Deletes current chapter in progress, weeps*
4. Thou Shalt Assume Every Comment Was Written By a Dyslexic Mental Patient with a Head Wound - Until You Go Back and Critically Examine Your Work, and Decide the Comment has Merit. (Unless it is unabashed praise, which of course is right.)
5. Thou Shalt Relax, Stop Putting Yourself Through the Stages of Grief, and Finish Your F!@#ing Book, Already.
5a. Also, Add Ruthless Vigilante Sorcerers During Your First Edit.
Well put, novelust! Here, have a spare comma ,
Just wondering if we can get a "New Beginnings" Waiting to be Critiqued section like we have on the Query letters?
Most of the New Beginnings don't have their titles with them, so a list would be difficult. However, I'm attempting to do them by date received. I believe I'm currently on 7/26. Of course I don't just take the best continuation I've received so far; I wait until I have one I feel measures up. If your beginning is posted at Evil Editor's Openings, it could be one email away from being posted here.
If you sent a beginning and a query, and the query hasn't been done yet, the beginning will be set aside, as it might give away the answer to your Guess the Plot.
5a. Also, Add Ruthless Vigilante Sorcerers During Your First Edit.
Novelust,
What, no zombies? ;-)
I actually liked your first 150 - I'll leave further comments there. :-)
~Nancy
Hmm, I probably should have read these commandments about eight minutes ago...
Oh, well.
Novelust,
I love the commandments. And thank you for them (because I have a beginning standing in the queue).
wannabe
Dear Mister Evil,
Thanks for keeping me occupied on a rather dull day. I like the new beginnings and helping people with their writing skills. This Autumn, after a 1 year break, I return to my writing program. Coming on here has reminded me of what I've been missing.
Thanks again. I have to get back and finish my second draft.
Alright, Evil, I'm seeing a trend here. Do all twenty-something of my "new beginning" add-ons suck? Or maybe you don't like the way I use them to make fun of perceived weaknesses in the 150-word opening?
Man, my query / plot was brutally savaged when it was posted last month. What happened to all that healthy mean-spiritedness? LOL
Oh well, I still have fun writing them anyway. I was sure you'd at least use the French guy in the creek...
Hello, anonymous right above me. To blatantly pretend to read EE's mind, one thing I am learning is that my continuations are simply too long. They may or may not be funny, but if it's too long it won't be used, I don't think. For instance, I continued the time stopping birthday party one, which EE selected. However, he only used about the first third of my continuation, dropping the rest. So, try doing nice short continuations. On another one, he grabbed just my first sentence and then used another minion's continuation for the rest. At least, that's my theory, so I am going to go shorter if I can force myself.
Thanks, Paca, great advice. I'll try to follow it. My continuation about the duckwalker from the asylum just got posted, what an honor!
Evil, just curious. Do you keep track of us minions? I'm sure you don't log IP addresses or anything like that, but do you say "Oh no, it's the guy from ____ again."? [I'm assuming that when we post comments, the name of our ISP is included]
I hope not, I don't want you to know what a loser I am!
I notice only the name you use or the word anonymous. Those who comment frequently I remember. When a query or a beginning is submitted, I copy it and move it into a list, at which point I no longer know whose is whose. So they're all anonymous once they're printed, though minions are welcome to claim authorship.
What happened to Safeguard? Did the author pull it?
If you mean its first 150 words, they're sitting in Evil Editor's Openings, waiting for the perfect continuation.
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