The Black Bear Inn
1. When she got hired to work at the Black Bear Inn, Adeline didn't expect the manager of the place to get murdered. Nor did she expect to be the prime suspect. Now she's trying to frame the guy in cabin 4, and let him worry about it..
2. Yes, there are talking bears, well.philosophizing bears but it is aimed at adults, not children, and is as quotable as Friedrich Nietzsche.
3. Snowed in at The Black Bear Inn, seven strangers find themselves trapped with a killer when a guest is found murdered. With phones dead, a relaxing retreat becomes a fight for survival. Also, an actual black bear.
4. With a limited number of caves available for bear hibernations, two women open a bear hotel in Wyoming to address the bear housing shortage. Their venture is a financial success, and they sell out to Google for a billion dollars. An American success story.
Original Version
Dear XXX
I am seeking representation for The Black Bear Inn, an 85,000-word mystery set on Minnesota’s rugged North Shore. For readers who enjoy Listen for the Lie by Amy Tintera and None of This is True by Lisa Jewell, this novel combines atmospheric small-town suspicion, a framed protagonist, and a media-driven investigation.
After a failed engagement and career in teaching, Adeline Sinclair has no choice but to leave the city and move into her estranged parents’ cabin on Lake Superior, [Why can't she move in with one of her parents while she looks for a new job? There have to be places where even terrible teachers can get jobs. For instance, Arkansas.] only to become the prime suspect in her friend’s murder.
When Adeline reluctantly takes a job [Doing what?] at The Black Bear Inn, [Did she apply for this job? If so, why is she reluctant to take it?] she’s charmed by outgoing manager Val Grant, who introduces Adeline to her circle. But there’s a catch—Val insists on playing matchmaker. Newly single, Adeline is hesitant for more reasons than one, but she’s tired of being lonely. [If she's newly single, she hasn't been lonely long enough to be tired of it. She's still in the "Thank God I didn't marry that asshole" phase.] [When you say "there's a catch," it sounds like Val will introduce Adeline to her circle only if Adeline agrees to start dating Val's friends. Or is getting the job what's dependent on letting Val be matchmaker? My guess is it's a downside rather than a catch.] Their new friendship suffers when a threatening note addressed to Val arrives at the Inn: Stay out of it. Adeline suspects the mysterious guest in cabin four, who hasn’t paid the Inn a dime and won’t show their face. [I don't see why Adeline would suspect anyone. Does Adeline even know what the "it" is that Val is told to stay out of? And why would this note cause the Adeline / Val friendship to suffer?] [Also, how did the mysterious guest get into cabin 4 without showing their face?] Val refuses to explain why she’s protecting [supporting?] them, and days later, Val is found dead. [What was the cause of death?]
The community Adeline built turns on her after an intimate photo of her and Val’s boyfriend surfaces online. [She built a community? I assume we're talking about Val's "circle," to whom Adeline was just introduced right before their friendship suffered. I guess more time is passing between events than it seemed like.] Things only get worse when Adeline is seen wearing the necklace Val had on the night she died, with no explanation. [Adeline has no explanation for how Val's necklace got around her neck?] Desperate to clear her name, Adeline follows the mysterious guest staying in cabin four: Jackson Thorne, a true crime podcaster. When she finally finds him, [If she's following him, she doesn't have to find him. He's right up ahead. She confronts him.] she learns Jackson and Val struck a secret deal before her death. [What is the deal? Let me stay here for free and I'll plug the inn on my podcast?] As suspicion tightens and another woman disappears, Adeline realizes Val’s murder is only the beginning. To prove her innocence, she must uncover what Val was about to expose—before the killer decides Adeline knows too much. [If she uncovers what Val was about to expose, the killer will definitely decide she knows too much. It might be nice if we were given a hint as to what the crime being exposed is.]
(Bio)
Notes
It may be more a thriller than a mystery. Are there several suspects, each with their own motive for murdering Val? What is Adeline's supposed motive? Jealousy? The necklace? Is she suspected by the police, or just her community? What happened with the media-driven investigation?
There's too much backstory. We don't need to know about Adeline's parents or the matchmaker aspect. We need to know what's going on. Here's an opening:
Addie's having a rough month. First she lost her job teaching kindergarten, then her fiancé broke off their engagement, and now . . . now she's being framed for murder. The victim: Val, Addie's new boss at the Black Bear Inn, where Addie reluctantly took a job because, hey, she's got bills to pay.
When a media-driven investigation turns up damning evidence, Val's friends all accuse Addie of the murder. Addie's pretty sure she didn't do it; she suspects the reclusive guy who's been staying in cabin 4. So she confronts him. He claims to be a true-crime podcaster, investigating a series of murders and disappearances in the area.
That leaves room to tell us what happens next. Is Adeline arrested? Does the missing woman turn up dead? Do Adeline and Jackson work together to unmask the killer? Does Jackson have a list of suspects who wanted Val dead?
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