Face-Lift 1440

Guess the Plot

Hope and Other Lost Things

1. Julia is crushed when her wife Marin walks out on her. But then she meets Erin, and her hope of happiness is rekindled. But will it last only until she later meets Sharon and Karen?

2. Losing hope is bad. Losing faith can be worse. Losing chastity might not be the worst thing, depending on how and when it happens. But Linda has lost all three at once, and unfortunately for her, Hope, Faith and Chastity are her neighbor's seven-year-old triplets. For crying out loud, they were right here like five minutes ago. This job is not worth ten bucks an hour.

3. Hope seems to have stumbled into looking-glass land, which for someone who already can't tell left from right isn't that different from normal. Can you help her find her way home? Also, Tweedle Dum-diggity-dum-didi-dee and other descendants of beloved characters from certain children's classics.

4. Hope has somehow ended up on an island filled with lost things. Turns out they're her things. Unfortunately, they want to remain lost.

5. Things go from bad to worse when every end-of-the-world scenario in myth and legend all start happening at the same time. Pandora--Panda to her friends--is told to do something about it. Srsly? Like what? She's an ordinary teenager.

6. Nothing is as it seems. No one is who they claim. There are twists on every page, divinations, revelations, feelings, tongs, and there may or may not be a barbecue which is a metaphorical, allegorical syllogism. Abandonment featured for all who read these pages. 

7. Volunteering at the shelter, Kassie takes a fancy to a sweet tabby she names Hope, unaware she is the reincarnation of the cat goddess Bastet. And Bastet is not impressed with the amenities at the shelter. Kassie must appease the goddess to prevent a global feline revolution.

Original Version

Dear [Agent's Name],

I am writing to seek your representation for Hope and Other Lost Things, a 100,000 word lesbian romance. This emotionally charged story follows the hope and grief plaguing Julia Jenner (39), the Superintendent at Kleinton High School, and her burgeoning connection with Erin Calanis (25), a representative from a company evaluating the school. [It's my understanding, an understanding that comes from the highest authority, Wikipedia, that the principals of all the schools in a district would report to one superintendent. Does each elementary, middle, and high school have its own superintendent in this place?] 

After two decades together, Julia’s wife walks out [on her] without another word. [Is that without another word besides the vague explanation she gave, or with no explanation?] ["Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say. I said something wrong" . . . Aha! What did Julia say?] All she’s left with are fractured memories and pieces of an unfinished love story that doesn’t fit together anymore. Julia is trapped in a hollow existence, clinging to the hope of Marin's return–wedding photos still adorning their house, untouched divorce papers on her bedside table even after a year. [I think I'd put the first sentence (or first two sentences ) of this paragraph in past tense. It's slightly jarring to have it in present tense when it happened at least a year before the rest of the paragraph.] [Wait, there was no communication between Julia and Marin? Before or after the serving of divorce papers? No big fight over housework? Nothing in those papers about irreconcilable differences like Julia chews her ice and eats meat? Only after an electrifying moment with a mysterious woman in a bar does a glimmer of her old self rekindle.

When Kleinton High hires an outside company to evaluate her school, [Isn't Julia the one who would do that hiring?] Julia never expects it to be Erin, the woman she almost took home the night before. Even with the undeniable connection between them–a familiarness in Erin’s touch, a magnetic pull neither can ignore–Julia is compelled to face her past. Through Erin, Julia rediscovers the fragments of herself that she believed had been lost forever. Now, she stands at a crossroads, torn between retreating into the deafening silence surrounding her life or embracing the fragile tendrils of hope that seep through the shadows. [Being a man of the world, I'm aware that you can meet someone in a bar, form a seemingly undeniable connection, and consider taking them home. However, during the time you're conversing over your beverages of choice, it seems like someone would mention what they do for a living, or what they're doing in town, which would lead to the "surprise" happening right there in the bar rather than the next day at school.] [She's got a choice between the deafening silence of a hollow existence and some small measure of hope for something better. Can you make both options sound closer to equal?]

I’m 26 years old and married to the woman of my dreams, writing for a world that needs more heartfelt woman-loving-woman stories. As a Library Media Specialist and teacher, I see the acute need for more inclusive representation of the spectrum of human emotions, from everyday triumphs to everyday heartaches, and the enduring tales of love. Hope and Other Lost Things is a tribute to the humanistic anguish we [all] harbor inside all of ourselves, [I think that's what you mean.] and how just a little bit of hope can hold us together until we finally get to where we need to be. 

I believe my manuscript has the potential to resonate deeply with a diverse range of readers, offering them a unique and touching perspective on the complexities of love and the resilience of the human spirit. This novel will appeal to readers of literary and contemporary fiction such as Julia Armfield’s Our Wives Under the Sea, Meryl Wilsner’s Mistakes Were Made, and Ashley Herring Blake’s Delilah Green Doesn't Care. [Two of these books are described as romantic comedies, whereas your title and your description of the book as a tribute to human anguish suggests it's one of those downer litfic books that always win the National Book Award. It's like trying to sell Sophie's Choice by comparing it to Spaceballs. Okay, I'm exaggerating. And I'm sure some fans of Sophie's Choice enjoyed Spaceballs. But if what these books have in common is that they're all lesbian romances, I'd change "readers of literary and contemporary fiction" to "readers of other lesbian romances." On the other hand, if you want to stress that your book would appeal to literary fiction fans as well, I'd include a comp title that's not a lesbian romance.]

Thank you for your time and consideration. I truly hope I have the opportunity to discuss how Hope and Other Lost Things can fit into your representation. [list?]

Notes

Very nice. You can ignore my comments if you wish; I have to crack a few jokes to keep my fans coming back. While it's a bit more flowery than necessary for a query letter, whoever reads this will know you're an excellent writer. And it seems like 80% of agents make it clear that they're looking for LGBTQ+ manuscripts. If you've sent this to some agents, with no takers, maybe you need the query to be more specific, plotwise. I think I can say everything I know about what happens in your book in three sentences:

When her wife of twenty years walks out on her, Julia Jenner, the Principal at Kleinton High School, is left trapped in a hollow existence, clinging to the hope of Marin's return--until she meets Erin, a woman who's been sent to evaluate her school. Through her undeniable connection with Erin–a familiarness in Erin’s touch, a magnetic pull neither can ignore–Julia rediscovers the fragments of herself that she believed had been lost forever. 

Okay, that was only two sentences, but they were long ones. And I left out the deafening silence and fragile seeping tendrils of hope. What I'm saying is, does stuff happen in this book? We want to know what Julia does to attain her goal, and what obstacles she overcomes through her actions.