Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Face-Lift 1378

Guess the Plot

The House at the Crossroads of Time

1. Dennis is lost again. In a nearly perfect world, where everything has its place and makes sense, Dennis can’t remember where he lives. He knows he went up the right road and made the right left, but when? Is that Albert kid playing tricks again? 

2. All Peter Finlay wanted was a place to hole up until the manhunt moved on. He was willing to put up with a few ghosts, until he discovered himself among them. Now he's not certain he'll still exist if he leaves. Also, taxidermy instruction. 

3. Delightful anachronisms happen all the time(!)...dinosaurs on the driveway, romans on the roof, crusaders in the cupboards. As long as the indoor plumbing remains fixed in this century, the Fillison family has some great alliterative adventures. 

4. When Cody Little learns that leaving his house by the side door puts him on the street one hour earlier than leaving by the front door, and the back door opens onto yesterday, how will he use this ability to control time? Should he save lives, cheat the lottery, or finally catch up on binge-watching Netflix? 

5. Jezebel saw the house for sale in the local paper. It was reasonably priced and within walking distance of her job. Yet after the house tour, it seems twenty years have passed since anyone has seen her, and she hasn't aged a day.

6. If only the real plot were one of those first five, but no, it's about a young woman destined to be the Great Queen of Faerie . . . or is it? 

Original Version

Dear sirs, 

I am writing to you because you have published authors that write Fantasy and Urban Fantasy.
In my 55,500[-]word fantasy novel, titled THE HOUSE AT THE CROSSROADS OF TIME, a young woman discovers that she is to be the Great Queen of Faerie.  As the story unfolds, she realizes that to become this “Great Queen”, she must kill her aunt, who had been the Queen of Faerie two-thousand years ago, and her aunt’s brother, who is presently [currently] the ruler of Faerie, and absorb their essences. [Two sentences is all we get to decide if your plot is worthy of our time?]
A graduate of the University of Redlands, with of [a] BA in Liberal Studies, I hold a CA Teaching Credential and am currently teaching elementary school.  My interests include Celtic Mythology, which reflects heavily in my first novel. [Your school, degree, and job aren't needed. That you teach a course in Celtic mythology would be more relevant than that it's one of your interests.]
Thank you for reading my query. 



If this character with no name doesn't kill her nameless aunt and (uncle? father?), what will happen? The nameless ruler will continue to rule? Is he a good ruler or a bad ruler? If good, why not let him continue? If bad, maybe absorbing his essence isn't such a good idea.

Is your main character a human, Faerie, or combo? How young is she? Is she torn with regard to killing two "people"? Does she want to be queen? Either way, what's her plan? What goes wrong? What if she fails? 8 to 10 sentences should be enough to answer these questions, giving us a better idea of what happens in your book.


Anonymous said...

Dear sirs?

This a hoax, right, EE?

St0n3henge said...

I can't tell if this is a young adult book or a regular adult novel. You might want to say. Either way, "Young woman/teen is destined to become queen of the faeries" is a heavily used plot. I'll need to know what makes your story different or unique.

Chicory said...

First, I adore your title.

I do think E.E. is right that you don't give enough information about the story, though. Does the young woman know her great-aunt, or is this just some stranger who happens to be related? Why does the young woman want to be fairy queen so badly that she's willing to kill for it? (IS she willing to kill, or did she just happen to stumble across the knowledge of how to gain the power and think, `huh, that's interesting. I could become queen of the fairies'?) Does our young protagonist have a name?

I think you have a really interesting premise here, but so far, at least to me, it is just a premise. You don't have to answer my specific questions in your query, either. I just thought they might help to jump-start your own creativity when it comes to describing your story.

CavalierdeNuit said...

Would “Dear Sirs and Madams:” change the success of this query?

Iamanoldvampirechild said...

'As the story unfolds' is one of those extraneous, obvious things that goes without saying. It's like saying 'This story begins with' etc. Some agents won't look much further than that. Of course it's a story and it unfolds/begins.

This query makes me feel better I have no uni education because your bio is impressive to me, but the fact you only gave one paragraph makes me think there's a lot about storytelling that can't be taught.

I do like the the idea that you gave, ( faerie queen only if she kills her family ) but ..need the rest of the query. It's like you started it and got distracted and ...forgot it.