Thursday, February 21, 2013

Fake Query #5

Face-Lift #980, GTP #4

Dear Evil Editor,

Tom Evans wants an Oscar. His years of transforming silverscreen claptrap into blockbuster features feel empty and hollow when Roxanne leaves him for the screenwriter of last year's Best Picture.

Tom sets off for a buddy's cabin in Wyoming, certain that the quiet life is what he needs to write the next Brokeback Mountain. And sure, he gets plenty of natural exposure--from the nudist encampment that shares his river rights to the wolves that dog his every step--but few ideas. That is, until he stumbles into a militia meeting while hiking. The gun-toting freedom fighters mistake him for Dom Evans, and rejoice, certain the reclusive anarchist has responded to their repeated summons. Before he can reveal the error, Tom is inducted into the business side of militia finance--illegal booze and drug running. Realizing this experience might make for the most realistic story Tom's ever written, he dives headfirst into the intrigue. When the real Dom Evans arrives, however, Tom's charade evaporates.

Now, it's Tom versus Dom versus Nature in the ultimate showdown--who will survive: Tom, Dom or the Grizzly bear? If he lives, Tom might just have the screenplay of his dreams.

HOLLYWOOD ENDINGS is complete at 157,000 words, and a guaranteed blockbuster you'd be a fool to turn down.

--Veronica Rundell


Could have been Oscar material -- if Orson Welles were still alive to play the grizzly bear.


150 said...

Oh my god, this actually sounds awesome.

PLaF said...

Change the first paragraph to read “His success transforming…” as it is his success that feels empty and hollow when Roxanne leaves, and not the years doing it. (And you only need one: empty or hollow.) Also, this is a golden opportunity to foreshadow coming events: combine his preferred screenwriting genre with the events that are about to unfold.
The second paragraph is all set up and can probably be reduced to just a few sentences to get to his main dilemma: a deadly case of mistaken identity.
Now we need to know how he gets out of this mess and what his skills or experiences as a screen writer he uses to solve the problem and save the day.

khazar-khum said...

Orson Wells? How about John Candy?

Now I'm thinking Bad Thoughts about "Brokeback Mountain II: Bear With Me".

Tk said...

I can totally see this as a blockbuster movie :)

Unknown said...

150--Thanks! Too fun to write. I think I'll stick with kid lit for now...

Plaf--point well taken, I must always make sure I keep it tight, and modify the proper subjects. I had a whole paragraph on his cheesy dialogue and a segment of the third soliloquoy, but canned it for brevity.

Khazar-khum, you're either a bad bad dude or a genius. You decide.