Friday, May 27, 2011
Guess the Plot
1. Meow Mix again? Fuggedaboutit! Get me Fancy Feast unless you want me to crap in your Manolos again, beeeitch.
2. He's the coolest cat ever, but when his human marries a chick with a snooty cat and a puppy, Jack's style is cramped. He tries to get the intruders kicked out, but when the three of them get lost, he realizes they must work together to find their way home. Then he can get them kicked out.
3. Tired of the owners who bestowed such stupid names on them, Midnight, Snowball, and Miss Fancy Whiskers set in motion a plan of violent and hilarious death. Only stray Geddowdamiyard! can save the humans - but does he really want to?
4. When Jeff Grant goes to work on a simple Internet upgrade for DARPA, he accidentally uncovers the horrifying truth: The Internet really is run by cats. Gopher heads, dead birds and mangled mice appear at his doorstep, catnip-filled envelopes are mailed to him, and when he picks up the phone all he hears is a loud purr. Can he escape his fate?
5. Meet Kitty Debenham, the humiliated socialite. With a wayward husband, a fortune to waste on extravagance, and self-esteem so low it could be a subterranean parking garage, Kitty turns to the best person she knows for advice on how to win her husband and her pride back – Jocelyn Wildenstein.
6. Chauncey organizes the biggest prison break in the history of Angora County. They haven't made the prison that can hold this cat burglar. Or should I say the kennel?
Jack, champion climber and mouser, knows he’s the coolest cat ever. Life was fine until Max, his human, got married. Suddenly, a snooty Siamese and a puppy called Bo take over his house. And a bossy lady who blames him for upsetting her pets.
Jack plots to get the others kicked back to wherever they came from. But getting them into trouble backfires, and the three creatures are banished to the backyard. Great! The only way to some peace from Bo’s constant yapping was [is] to make a deal: if he can be quiet Jack will teach him to climb. Jack figures he’ll never have to repay [pay off? Settle up? Make good?] because the dog can’t be quiet for more than a minute, but at least it’s a minute’s break.
But [No need for the word "But." You could just delete it or change it to "After" or "When" and let it flow into the next sentence.] New Year’s Eve fireworks terrify them down into the dark, smelly drains. Soon the trio are lost and face rats, hunger and wet fur. The only way to stay warm, safe and fed is to cooperate, and Jack starts to appreciate the others as more than nuisances. Bo follows the trail back to where they first entered the drains, but Jack is the only one who can climb out. Bo is devastated when he learns that Jack lied about teaching him to climb. Now Jack needs to use his superior intellect to rescue the others. Or will he abandon them and go back to a quiet house?
CATTITUDE is a 10,000-word MG novel.
Thank you for your consideration.
Based on the number of words per page in the two kids' books I happen to have handy (Holes and The Higher Power of Lucky), your book will be 30 to 40 pages, which translates to 15 to 20 sheets of paper. Unless it's loaded with illustrations. It does sound like a good candidate for artwork, but it wouldn't hurt to seamlessly expand it to fifteen or twenty thousand words.
Bo has an annoying bark, and a strong nose. What does the Siamese cat do that annoys Jack? What does the Siamese contribute to their staying safe when they're lost? Without knowing this, we may wonder why it's not just Jack and Bo in the story.
Once Bo leads them back, why does the Siamese need rescuing? Can't it get out the same way Jack does? If it can't climb because it's been declawed, then it would still need rescuing even if Jack taught Bo to climb. In other words, while the query is fine as it is, the climbing promise isn't that important, and could be replaced with answers to the questions in the previous note.