Guess the Plot1. After a fatal accident, former president Bush attempts to bring good old US Democracy to heaven.
Kingdom of God
Kingdom of God
2. A dyslexic adventurer visits a nation with a canine ruler. Heresy ensues.
3. When Michelle sees a video of a police officer apprehending an armed and violent suspect, the officer's use of profanity pushes her fragile psyche into madness. "That is so unprofessional!" she exclaims, as she begins her crusade to establish... The Kingdom of God
4. When Rowena dies and goes to heaven, she gets to rub elbows with angels, the Virgin Mary and Jesus. But when she notices heaven has no homosexuals or non-Christians or sinners of any kind, she realizes God is no caring, generous Father, but a cold-hearted dictator. Not that she can do anything about it . . . until an underground resistance group of undercover angels ask her to join their movement to oust God from the seat of absolute power. Hey, someone's gotta take this egomaniac down a peg.
5. As a neurotic perfectionist, Prince Rarufi feels compelled to always have the best possible everything, so when an indiscreet cleric mentions that of course the Kingdom of God is more perfect than all others, Rarufi raises an army and goes north to usurp it.
6. First, it was the Jehovah's Witnesses in their Sunday suits. Then, the Mormons came with their thousand-pound bibles. Well, the next group that ignores Della's "No Religious Missionaries" sign had better be prepared to meet their maker. Unless their god can tell them the locations of her hidden land mines.
7. Pastor Ralph Sedgewick has a dream: Buy the decaying Wild Island amusement park and turn it into a religious-themed attraction. Unfortunately billionaire developer Ginny Gerardon wants the same property--for condominiums. Can they reach a compromise . . . without falling in love?
Rowena Martin--a 38-year-old wife, mother, and faithful Lutheran--wakes up naked and disoriented one morning, alone in a field of shimmering Easter grass. Yet a great sense of calm well-being surrounds her. Why? She has died and her soul has risen to Heaven.
In the glorious hereafter, her every desire is instantly fulfilled. She is thin, popular, and beautiful, with perfect [teeth and] eyesight. She possesses every talent she's ever wished for, including the ability to [play "Yankee Doodle" with her armpit and to] read the innermost thoughts of everyone she meets. Lies and secrets don't exist. [Did you say this was heaven or hell?] She mingles with fascinating people from various historical periods and backgrounds--and even rubs elbows with such illustrious holy figures as angels, the Virgin Mary, and Jesus of Nazareth. Best of all, she gets to meet God Himself, the wise and loving Father whose intricate plan rules over the entire universe. [God! We finally meet. I've heard so much about you. You look shorter in person.]
But something sinister flickers around the edges of paradise, and in a realm without secrets it doesn't take long for newcomers to discover the truth: [They're not in heaven after all; they're in some town called Stepford.] Hell is just as real as Heaven.
The screams of sinners in the fiery pits below her begin to haunt Rowena constantly. [Nothing's worse than moving into a new place and finding out the walls are paper thin and the neighbors never shut up.] The majority of human beings, she learns, are predestined for Hell. Nonbelievers, homosexuals, those who commit suicide or ascribe to religions other than Christianity--all are inexorably doomed. [Wait, weren't Jesus and the Virgin Mary Jews? How'd they get in?] [Don't look now, but you've just reduced your potential audience by about six billion.] And her own daughter is one of the millions [billions] slated for eternal torture in the flames.
Suddenly God doesn't seem like such a caring, generous Father after all. [Your villain is God?] Instead He appears to be a cold-hearted dictator. But Rowena has no freedom or privacy to truly contemplate His nature. Every time she thinks anything potentially blasphemous, she falls unconscious as the Lord and His angels attempt to reform her mind. [I wouldn't last a minute in this place.] She's warned that if she continues to allow heresy in her thoughts, she could end up in Hell herself. [Don't think about a pink elephant.]
On and on the damned cry out for help, but she must sit by and smile, powerless. Until, that is, members of an underground resistance movement ask her to join their crusade. The group, formed by undercover angels and ordinary people who have lost loved ones to Hell, claims to be getting closer every day to ousting God from the seat of absolute power. [I think they might pull it off. God will never suspect them.] But are they really? Or is the Lord simply setting them up for a massive fall? [If God knows what they're up to, He's not gonna wait to see if they go through with it, He's gonna ship them to hell immediately. And if He doesn't know, why am I capitalizing His pronouns?] And if the coup does succeed, what will become of the universe? Can the world go on without God at its helm?
Kingdom of God is a 101,000-word adult literary novel. Sample chapters or the complete manuscript are available upon request.
Thank you for your consideration.
This is too long, and it's all set-up. Something like my Guess the Plot can be your first paragraph. The rest (five or six sentences) should be devoted to the plan to oust God, assuming Rowena joins the movement. What's the plan, what goes wrong, how is Rowena instrumental in pulling it off? If she doesn't join the movement, why is she the main character? She must do something to get heaven back on track. Focus on Rowena, not the situation.
I think God should threaten to send Rowena to hell if she refuses to convert from Lutheran to Methodist.
I don't see why my minions shouldn't capitalize my pronouns. It's common courtesy.