Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Guess the Plot
1. Aaiiee thinks she is just an ordinary high school student, till she learns she is a Lifeweaver and must untangle the threads of her best friend and boyfriend, before they sneak off together and conceive the demon baby that will destroy the earth.
2. The Lifeweaver has the ability to shift injuries and diseases from one person to another. Among those who have injuries and diseases, he's quite popular. Among the rest of the people, eh, not so much.
3. Reeling from her recent divorce, Jasmine rebrands herself a “Lifeweaver” and finds solace ghostwriting memoirs for senior citizens. But when the threads of a charming octogenarian’s story defy time and space to alter her own history, Jasmine fears the ghostwriter is being ghostwritten. Could Elmer be the true Lifeweaver?
4. It was supposed to be an extra credit project for Home Ec. But now 13-year-old Rowena has pixies dogging her footsteps, water sprites popping up in cans of soda, and one cranky elven knight in shining armor claiming that her tapestry-weaving skills have marked her as the heiress to a fairy kingdom. Maybe she should have chosen choir as her elective.
5. 17-year-old Delden is a journeyman Lifeweaver. One day, he will be a plotter of people's life stories, designing the events and significant others they will encounter. But the skills that have made him a budding star have also led him to disquieting discoveries about the profession. Why does the Lifeweavers Guild have a secret prison? And what stories are locked away in the Library of the Damned?
6. In ancient times a young Chinese witch learns to weave silk ribbons that can change fate, a skill she vows to use for only good. But she is forced to marry an evil emperor and must decide whether to serve and obey him like a good wife, or magically bind his life to the fate of a chicken.
Dear Evil Editor,
After two murders, an abduction, and the complete loss of control over his life, Talyn's family blessing is starting to look more like a curse.
When Talyn became the lifeweaver – a man capable of shifting injury, disease, even death from one person to another – he thought he'd be helping people. [He is helping people: the people he shifts injury, disease and death from. The people he shifts them to probably see things differently.] Instead, the nobility hoard his abilities, [Is he their prisoner?] and the church forces him to punish criminals with their own violent sins. When the king uses him to fake an assassination and spark a war, [I want to start a war by assassinating someone, but I certainly don't want anyone to die, so I need you to help me fake the assassination.] Talyn can no longer stand the suffering his blessings cause, and starts down a treasonous path of unveiling the conspiracy. [Who is conspiring with whom? Are the nobility and the church and the king all working together? Can they force Talyn to do their bidding? Personally, I'd be reluctant to make too many demands of someone who can switch other people's injuries, diseases and deaths onto me.]
But Talyn is not the only one fighting injustice. Serra Taciess, after striving for years to become a holy warrior like her father, finally faces an obstacle she cannot overcome with brute strength: being framed for murder. [Even the world's strongest men encounter obstacles they cannot overcome with brute strength.] [I don't see what Serra and Talyn are dealing with as comparable. You claim they're both fighting injustice, but Superman fights injustice. Serra is enduring injustice. Talyn is being used, but I wouldn't call it injustice. Perhaps you should open this paragraph with something vague like: But Talyn is not the only one with problems.] Abandoned even by the father she idolizes, the dejected girl has nowhere to turn until a faceless benefactor offers to help her escape. As payment, she commits an act that will draw the ire of an entire kingdom: abducting the lifeweaver. [Actually, if I were in this kingdom and I were completely healthy, I'd be happy to see the lifeweaver gone.]
With the lying king's war fast approaching, Talyn needs to escape quickly. [Why? Whose side is he gonna be on in this war?] But Serra's employer has his own plans for exploiting the lifeweaver, both to save his people and exact vengeance on the kingdom that wronged them. [Is it Talyn's kingdom that wronged them?] To stop both embroiling conflicts, Talyn will have to sacrifice everything, [That's pretty vague.] and enlist the help of the same convicted murderer who put a knife to his throat. [Why is this convicted murderer/knife to the throat incident being tossed out as if we know all about it?]
I am seeking representation for Lifeweaver, a fantasy complete at 149,000 words. [That's a lot of words. How many of them can you do without?] I have appended the first chapter of my novel to the end of this email for your consideration. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Who framed Serra for murder, and why?
Do we need Serra in the query? I think this would hold together better if it focused on Talyn. You can say that just when Talyn is about to blow the whistle on the conspiracy, he's abducted by people with their own agenda. We don't need to know who or why. We just need to know what will happen if he doesn't get back in time.