Saturday, March 22, 2008

Fake Query 5



A knight with OCD causes the collapse of the kingdom when he stays at home to re-polish his armor instead of leading his men into battle. (In Shining Armor)


Nights in the arms of the Countess of Lovelace have helped Sir Richard of Rotsbury forget the stench of the battlefield. But now, she has closed her legs to him until his assets are suitably increased. The king, who could grant Sir Richard the largess he requires to get back in his lady’s favor, has instead threatened Sir Richard with the loss of his head if his troops do not end the war on the morrow. Having less knights to feed is one answer to the royal purse growing thin, however Sir Richard would prefer to keep his head, his lover, and earn a bit of silver with daily battles.

Sir Lancelot offers Sir Richard a solution - one in which he keeps his head, gains more land, and returns to his lover’s soft charms. It is tempting, but can Sir Richard continually polish his armor while his troops are slaughtered to a man and the kingdom is overrun by the barbarian horde? Or will his conscience prod him to don his shining armor and lead his troops to ultimate victory? And will he decide in time to save the men who serve under him?

--Sarah

8 comments:

Dave F. said...

gives new meaning to the phrase, a night in shining armor. Well done.

Whirlochre said...

My guess is he'll keep polishing his helmet till no good comes of it.

Robin S. said...

"But now, she has closed her legs to him until his assets are suitably increased."

Oh, girlfriend - this gave me a really big grin. And so true, as well!

(hee hee)

Anonymous said...

I love the line Robin quoted, and the one following it: "The king, who could grant Sir Richard the largess he requires to get back in his lady’s favor..."

Great hook, in my opinion ;)

A.

jeb said...

Great first para and some sneaky entendres, but it got a bit wordy after that eye-catching opening.

Wes said...

Nicely done.

pjd said...

Quite a different twist from what I expected. Well done, Sarah!

freddie said...

I love this query.

One picky little nitpicking geeky comment: "less" in Having less knights to feed is one answer to the royal purse growing thin, technically, should be "fewer." It reads better and shows that there are specific numbers, unlike "less water."

I'm explaining this badly, but hopefully you get the idea.