Why you don't get published.
Unchosen Captions:Maybe if I wear my thought balloon on the other side, people will start taking me seriously.--Whirlochre Has anyone even fucking noticed how that mutton-chopped attention hoggin'man has horned himself in on my territory?--RobinCm'ere, baby. It's all about me. Oh...oh...you thought I was a different kinda guy, did you? Effete? Literary? Well, uh, no. I may be wearing lavender spandex, but I'm still studly. Oh, yeahhhh. --RobinHmmm....I think I'll call it LIFE AND LOVES OF A WEREDINGO: THE SECRET MEMOIRS OF EVIL EDITOR....--Talpianna
I still like mine best. Way best.
Yes, they're funny, but the first one would make no sense to those who started coming here a few months ago, after I stopped using that picture, and certainly not to those visiting for the first time. The second one was so long it wouldn't fit into thought balloons unless I used a microscopic font size.By posting the unchosen ones, long-time minions still get to enjoy yours.
Gee, thanks, Daddy.
Now how about some ice cream to help you forget the evil man?
Can we, can we, huh, huh? And can it be chocolate?
No. Sugar-free vanilla.
No way, Daddy. Nuhhhhh uhhhh. I want my treats to be bad for me, nice and sugary and ooooey-gooey.And chocolate.
Robin, don't take sugar-free vanilla ice cream from muttonchopped strangers!---Mommy Mole
Some chocolate sprinkles on top. Best I can do. Not too many. About a dozen.
promise her anything but give her Arpege.
Hm. I predict a range of Evil Editor ice cream products very soon now. (Basketcase and Robin's?)Stay away from the warm coconut sauce.j/k, by the way...
Did someone say ice cream?! Don't forget the whipped cream and cherry. Or is it, um, too late for the cherry?Love that caption.
Absolutely not, phoenix - it's like I always say...It's never too late for the cherry.Basketcase and Robin's...hey, iago, I'm good with that, as long as we all know that he's the Basket Case, and I am, um, the Robin.Good Lord, EE, are you talking about what's actually in your fridge? 'Cause if so, you need some emergency infusions there at your house.
No, tonight I had Ben & Jerry's raspberry chocolate chunk. It's a raspberry sorbet with raspberry swirl and big chunks of dark chocolate. My second dessert will be Edy's Rocky Road, and then before bed mint chocolate chip with a cookie.
Oh, I see now. I see. I get stuck with the sugar-free crappola that tastes like grainy gruel, while you, meanwhile, are slurpin' down the good stuff with your weredingos.Hmmmph.
You probably won't notice the graininess because of the freezer burn.
Can't get Ben & Jerry's here. It's either Haagen Dazs, or something I can't pronounce that has bits of squid in it.I mostly go for the Haagen Dazs.
I'll give you a little freezer burn, there, Sparky.(Hmmm. Perhaps I now see why it's best for you and your whereabouts to remain, shall we say, enigmatic. Am I onto something there? And, PS, the enigma of it all makes for very good writing exercises. But even so, I still liked mine way better.)
Hey ril,Where's 'here' right now?
It is better. You deserve better. If I took a poll, almost everyone would choose yours, because the only people who vote in polls are the same 25 people who always comment. Unfortunately, the other 975 people a day who come here, and don't even read the comments, and who've never been here before, would be thinking, I don't get it.
'here' is Tokyo.It's lunchtime! And all this ice cream talk has made me hungry.
...and yet, they'd have liked the sex part. (The fun ones would have, anyway.) Or they'd have liked the bad words. Or the bad words and sex part combo plan thing going on.I'm just messing with you. I've been drilled down with busy-ness crappola at work all day, and I'm driving down to Virginia Beach tomorrow for a not-fun thing, so I thought I'd just mess with you tonight, as I happen to find that immensely gratifying.But, as much as I love you, Sparky, I ain't never eatin' no sugar-free vanilla ice cream. No way.
Okay, okay, you win. I'll put your caption on it.
Oh- my spousal unit just flew in tonight from Mexico. He was in Tokyo a few weeks ago.Now there's a picture I don't want. You and my spousal unit, meeting, in Tokyo, or anywhere else. (You have too much dirt on me.)
Oh, yeah, and create a rift with, ah, whoever might have, you know, submitted the other one. Right.
Did you forget to sign your name again?
How many cartoon captions have been yours?
Six, I think. I just do it for the anonymity.
Are you two absolutely certain you're not related? Honestly.Are you?EE, sweetie, don't switch it - I told you I was just messing with you. I'm not even remotely mad. I'm teasing.
There are too many comments with this cartoon. It's looking weird. I have another one ready to post, for which I've chosen the wrong caption.
Don't keep the other one just for me. I've had my fifteen minutes of self-satisfaction. Really.
Hey, Robin, fear not. Tokyo's pretty busy this time of year. The chance of us bumping into each other in O'Halloran's Irish Style Pub in Ebisu is relatively low.And I didn't tell him a thing. Honest.
Oh, MANNNNN. I can't believe you posted another cartoon. When I didn't know you all well enough to talk much (yeah, I know, that part didn't last long enough, did it?),I would have really enjoyed waking up to this long trail of stuff.Because, you know, I could've read this and thought...Wow, I'm so lucky I'm me and not, you know, crazy.OK, ril, the next time he's over there, I'm sendng him to that pub.Honestly. And he'll go, if there's Guinness on draught.
There are too many comments with this cartoon. It's looking weird LOL! Before coming here (into the realm of the actual posts), I thought there was some lively discussion about perpetuity. I was looking forward to finding out the definition without going to Wiki. Now I just feel like eating sugar-free chocolate icecream with a dozen vanilla sprinkles on top.
This is reading like a lunchtime soap - only with more subplots and better characters.It's almost as if EE had said 'don't mention the word anus'.Pistachio for me, please - if there's any left.
Robin - yours are so, um, Robin. I love them best, too, but they are more of a running thing between you and the evil one.
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