Thursday, December 14, 2006
Guess the Plot
1. Katirin, heir to the throne, teams up with an enemy wizard to destroy a sentient computer trying to take over the kingdom. Also, drone nuns.
2. When an Eddie Murphy look-alike is named sole heir to the Augusto Pinochet fortune, hilarity ensues. Also, The Village People.
3. Iowa feed magnate Hank Wermer bragged that at 65 he had enough left in the tank to sire an heir to his vast corporate empire. Will he accept the dark-skinned baby born by his 22-year-old trophy wife, or will he spend his entire fortune trying to find the true father? Also, a shady sperm bank.
4. When a mysterious Mexican man is named as the sole beneficiary of a wealthy Boston Brahmin, all hell breaks lose in the board room. What did the man from Baja know and when did he know it? Also, a dancing pigeon.
5. Indelible black dye, tasteless hi-jinks, and zombies! The fun never ends in the Delta Gamma frat house, where pledges unwittingly compete in a competition that will mark the dark heir (literally) for sacrifice. Also, drunk geese.
6. Eyebrows nearly hit the ceiling when Duane "Fresh Young Chicken" Jones walks into the conference room at Dewey, Cheeetham and Howe for the reading of the Pettipants last will and testament. Also, a lost ferret.
Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. [The magician's trick of sawing a woman in half and restoring her? 22nd-century medical technology, incomprehensible to the primitive man of today.] In DARK HEIR, a completed 104,000 word fantasy, a backward world struggles with such magic, as a damaged sentient computer from a bygone technological age gives potent but flawed supernatural powers to certain individuals.
Katirin is a princess of inconvenient parentage, confined to a convent to nullify her claim on the throne. [If more evil tyrants had known that being in a convent nullified one's claim to the throne, fewer throne claimants would have been needlessly murdered throughout history. On the other hand, convents would have been bursting at the seams.] When she discovers that the unworldly priestesses of the convent are really drones of the ancient computer - which is winding out of control and will eventually claim the minds of the entire kingdom [That seems like a lot for Katirin to fathom.] - Katirin decides that she would rather save her nation than rule it.
Cementing her family's disapproval by fleeing both convent and country, Katirin strives to find and destroy the computer - an object she barely understands. [If she wants to find a computer that's destroying her country, shouldn't she be looking in her country?] [You opened by implying that the people would consider technology magic. Is that what Katirin thinks? Wouldn't she be seeking a wizard or a witch, rather than a computer?] The only person willing to help her is Arkadiy, prince of an enemy state, and the price he demands is that Katirin turn both traitor and assassin for him. More distressingly, his assistance consists of lending her the services of another of the computer's creations, a powerful but unstable "wizard" named Lethan, who seems more interested in learning to use the artifact than destroying it. [I'm not sure I'd call working with Lethan "more distressing" than becoming a traitor to one's country and an assassin for one's enemy.] Katirin will eventually have to battle Lethan to keep him from protecting the object he helped her find.
As Katirin fights to save the nation she loves more than her own fierce ambitions, she must decide how much evil she will do in the name of accomplishing one act of good.
I am a physicist, a visual artist, a rock climber and, of course, a writer. DARK HEIR is my first novel. May I send you a partial or full?
Thank you for your time and consideration.
It's not clear how a computer can give supernatural powers to certain individuals or claim the minds of the entire kingdom. Sounds like there is magic involved.
This reminds me of the Star Trek episode where a computer built 6000 years earlier by someone named Landru has taken over the minds of the primitive people, who consider it their god. Except your book is better, and I can say that with confidence, despite not having read it.
Actually, the query isn't bad, but if it addressed a couple of the questions I raised, or failed to inspire them, it would be better.