Saturday, December 16, 2006

The Korlach/Alexandra/Rod Dialogues

Kohrlach: What the--?
Rod: Hey! How--?
Alexandra: Lord Winston?
K: Who are you people?
R: Who are you?
K: I am Kohrlach the Magnificent, god of the dark realm. And you?
R: I'm Superman the Stupendous, asshole. What about you, lady?
A: Lord Winston was about to ask for my hand! What happened? What is this place?
K: Good question. Odd that it has no doors or windows. You humans are so attached to them.
R: Us humans? You're sticking to your god story? If you're so powerful, how about getting me back to court. I was about to sum up for the jury.
K: I'll be happy to send you back--as soon as I've sucked the soul from your body. Oh, wait, you're a lawyer. I'm too late. [EE]
A: Oh dear, a deus ex machina. And I was having such a supreme courtship... [Bernita]
R: Deus who? Your French is a little rusty, lady. It's called a menage a trois.
K: The only way a menage is happening is if I turn Superman here into Jessica Alba.
R: You keep talking about your powers. How about a demonstration?
K: Don't tempt me, you worthless chaser of ambulances, I'll turn you into a puppy dog.
A: Shouldn't that be ambuli?
R: Just a second, babe. We're talking here.
A: Babe? I am a young woman; about to be betrothed to Lord Winston. Are you at all familiar with Lord Winston?
K & R: (Simultaneously) I've had dealings.
R: Now we're getting somewhere. We all know Lord Winston. How?
A: Well... I lost my virginity to Lord Winston when I was seventeen.
K: One time, I shape-shifted to become an erotic love goddess from the planet Minge. I visited your puny world and... Winston had his way with me; as a woman. There's nothing wrong with that. What's your story, Earth lawyer?
R: Well, I, uh... I was young. Law school ain't cheap, and... Well, you know Winston, he's quite the charmer...
A: (Gasps, audibly.)
K: (His dark eyes redden, a fiendish glow.)
R: Well, I can't say this has been fun, but I have to get back to court. My clients in the East End keep me tied up, figuratively speaking.
K: You whore!
R: We all have our price.
K: I do it for pleasure.
A: I did it for love. I love Lord Winston. He is the love of my life!
R: Right. Now, which way takes me back to London?
K: Ah, London. Now, that is a place I am very familiar with. My work takes me there often. Perhaps you know Mr. Bla--
R: Whoa. No names, no pack drill. That could get us in even more trouble. Focus. We have to work out why we're here.
A: Well, I'm sure I have no idea. As I said, I was about to accept Winston's proposal, then suddenly... What were you doing?
K: Nothing...
A: You were, I saw you. What were you doing?
R: What have you got in your hand?
K: Nothing -- see?
R: No, the other one.
K: Nothing, look.
A: What about that one?
K: Ahh... You got me there.
R: Give that here.
A: What is it? Maybe it it explains why we're here in this doorless room?
R: It appears to be some sort of
map. If only we could work out what it means... [anon.]
R: What are those things tacked to the wall over there in the corner?
K: Hey, some portraits. Check out the sexy literary guy!

A: A man like this could make a girl forget all about Lord Winston.
R: Hell, a man like this could make a guy forget he's straight.
K: I've decided to devote my life to finding this man--or god, as the case may be.
A: I'm coming with you.
R: Hey, wait for me! [EE]


IM (Invisible Man): Hey, where'd everybody go? [Anon.]

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