Feedback Request

 The author of the book featured most recently here would like feedback on the following version of the query.

Public defender Shukari does a lot between [has many responsibilities, from] hunting plant-monsters and [to] investigating dark magic in eco-cities. It’s tough, but she believes everyone deserves safety and justice. Now, if only she could find a cure for a spell that has trapped numerous civilians in their own, fossilizing bodies, her parents included. Without one, death is certain. And though her leads keep hitting dead ends, Shukari refuses to give up.

So when she finally tracks [down] a [the] culprit, she’s overjoyed. Her target? Crime lord Tyris, notorious for his lethal magic weapons, including a [the] prototype behind her loved ones' condition. The [Her] plan[:] becomes strike key operations until his little kingdom collapses. Maybe then he'll talk cures. But Shukari soon crashes into a major hurdle: Tyris shook a lot of hands. Partners cover his tracks, traitors look the other way, and his empire fights back. As losses pile [up] and time runs short, Shukari makes a desperate play.

She steals the prototype. Pity it, too, [Sadly, it] doesn’t have the answer she seeks. The sensible thing, then, would be to destroy it before Tyris can make final versions. Instead, she plans [offers] a trade he can’t resist: give her a cure and he gets his weapon back. Neither side plans on giving the other what they want, so it’s down to who can trick whom. But [And] if Shukari can’t outwit a [the] master dealmaker, she’ll be handing over [saving] the lives of countless people.  

Notes

I think this is what you're after. Good luck.