Face-Lift 1522

Guess the Plot

Origins

1. Random people want to ascend to utopia, but to do so they'll have to do a lot of fighting and killing. And they shouldn't talk out of turn.

2. A bunch of superheroes doing pro bono visiting/counseling with supervillains behind bars all get together and talk about who to blame where they came from. But when the shadowy mastermind behind it all comes to light, will they be able to join forces?

3. This prequel novel exhaustively details how every point in the original story came about, from why Mary likes pineapple on pizza to how Bob gained the nickname "Bob" instead of "Rob".

Original Version

Dear [Sci-Fi or Fantasy Agent].

The Ascendancy is absolute… It's also in trouble. 

Underneath the shining imperium, veins of deceit corrupt the purest intent in service of utopia. [The Query is impenetrable... It's also in trouble.] Powered by an imprisoned god, they [Who?] conquer across the realms [What realms?] without resistance, at least, that's what the cover says. [The cover of what?]

Valon has recently discovered that he is a Nine, prophesied to be a hero, but he isn't quite sure what kind of hero. He’s more excited by the fact that his tuition under his father, the man he seeks to emulate as a ruling demigod of war, is about to begin on the garden planet of Zyphoria, but the greenest vines can have the sharpest lessons as Valon starts to learn. Bravery isn't based on the strongest or the one who kills the meanest beast; it's in the tireless heart, and Valon has a lot to learn about himself and Ascension if he is to survive Zypohoria and the Ascendancy.

Seraphina is devout in service to her torments. The Sisters of Mercy (SOM) [No need to tell us the abbreviation for Sisters of Mercy if you're never going to mention them again.] inure the flock to abuse in preparation for Ascension. Why, then, did she just speak out of turn? What is the feeling inside her that compels her actions that are leading her to ruin? All she wants is to Ascend and serve Natura, but now that she hears her voice, she rebels in service of it. [You've used the phrases "in service of utopia," "in service to her torments," and "in service of it," whatever "it" is. Is that your favorite phrase, or is it AI's favorite phrase?] Conflicted, alone and scared for the first time ever, does she heed the voice inside or has she lost her mind like others before her?

Isolde was born a commoner but knows she's not like the rest. She can feel her god calling her, like it has her brother. In saving his life, she is thrust from obscurity into the sights of the noble Houses. Why, then, is getting what she wants suddenly an issue?

High fantasy meets epic sci-fi as magical beasts and mythical warriors contest mech behemoths and augmented demigods of war in an ongoing fight for utopia. Who will rise, and what will be the fate of the realm under the rule of the victor? History will record the winner’s take, that is, the story of the Nine.

The Nine - Book One: Origins (Complete at 145,000 words) is a character-driven epic science fantasy with an interconnected narrative. It features complex characters, political intrigue, theological dogma, large-scale conflicts, and morally ambiguous settings.

The book aims to reach adult and crossover readers in a genre mash-up. Allegorical prose offers deeper exploration throughout the series, examining themes like consequentialism and utilitarianism. The Gardens of the Moon, The Final Strife, and The Stormlight Archive inspired my writing of The Nine, and I aspire for it to sit alongside these seminal works on the bookshelf.

[Bio]

Thank you for your time in review.

Notes

Start over. Choose a main character, and tell us what they want and how they plan to get it.

Then tell us what's preventing them from succeeding, and how they plan to deal with that.

The tell us what will happen if they fail and what decision will determine if they succeed or fail.

Do it all in ten sentences that would be clear enough to be understood by someone who's never read the book, and that tell us the story with specific details. And don't ask questions. We don't know the answers.