Thursday, April 05, 2012
Guess the Plot
A Shattered Light
1. Relieved of our world’s bureaucratic hell, the dying take comfort in the light at the end of the tunnel. But when Gabriel accidentally drops the spotlight, they are temporarily re-routed to another kind of hell.
2. Searching for her missing twin brother, Evie recalls that her missing father once told her stories about the fae folk. So she goes to their court, but her hopes are shattered when the king demands that she fight in a war. Also, a punk elf.
3. Perfect soccer mom Sallie enjoys baking, manicures, and the occasional salon tan. But when a faulty UV bulb causes her to miss her daughter’s graduation ceremony, a nationwide manhunt begins for a mysterious salon-terrorizing villain known as Two-tone.
4. The light bulb in the fire station has been on non-stop since the 1970’s and the ghost of the station’s first chief just wants some darkness. Will the bulb-watching website become the world's most famous proof of ghosts?
5. Lee Wilford is a hypochondriac who fears nothing more than UV rays. When his girlfriend June accidentally breaks a fluorescent light bulb, sending mercury vapor into the air, Lee goes on a rampage that threatens to destroy not only June, but the planet as well.
6. When a young sun god gives the science of optics (and alchemy) to the Irish, he's caught between the druids and the leprechauns. Also, a guest appearance by Piltzintecuhtli.
Dear Evil Editor,
When Evie's twin brother disappears it's a nightmare, especially since it mimics the disappearance of their father twelve years earlier. Now Evie will do anything to make sure that her brother returns home, even if that means revisiting the stories told to her by the father she swore never to forgive. [If I disappear, I want Evil Jr. going to the police or at least a psychic, not revisiting Jack and the Beanstalk and The Little Engine that Could.] [You imply that revisiting her father's stories means forgiving him. I don't see the connection.] [I don't like "it's a nightmare." Perhaps "she's distraught" is better.]
Her father's stories lead her to the court of the fae folk. [I guess it's a good thing her dad didn't tell her stories about orcs or Atlantis. Did he suggest that his stories were other than just stories? Like nonfiction?] The place is a paradise, but there's a trade-off. Humans can live in the court, but in return they're expected to fight. War is brewing with seifers, the enemies of the fae, and humans alone have the power to control captured seifers, pitting them against their own people. [You're not gonna like this but I have to say it: the book would be far more entertaining if it involved war against heifers.]
Evie doesn't want to fight and she definitely doesn't want to stay. She just wants to find her brother and get them both home. Yet her policy to remain uninvolved gets seriously complicated when she meets her seifer, Darrien. [She has her own personal seifer?] [Why is she meeting her seifer if she has a policy to remain uninvolved?] [This is the point where it's better to go with heifers. The fae capture heifers, but they can't control them; only humans can, so each human has to control her personal heifer while also fighting in the war. The good part is that it's harder for the enemy to kill you if you have a bovine shield. Also, if you get stranded behind enemy lines, your heifer can provide you with milk. And if you're desperate, short ribs.] He isn't the monster that the fae have made him out to be, and before long she can't deny her growing attraction for him. [If you decide to go with heifers, you'll need to change the pronouns in that sentence to feminine.] [You won't need to change Evie to a boy, however, as it's just as likely for a girl to be attracted to a cow as a boy.]
As Evie delves deeper into the realm [What does that mean? What, specifically, is she doing?] she finds herself growing more and more suspicious about the fae, and their king. She's sure he's hiding something about her brother and she doesn't trust the way he's readying humans to fight his war. Then Evie learns that twelve years ago her father was part of a plan to dethrone the fae king. And suddenly she has to decide what exactly is worth fighting for. [Vague. What she has to decide is which side to fight on.]
A SHATTERED LIGHT is my YA fantasy novel and it is complete at 85,000 words. It features a colorful cast of characters including Talli, a punk elf, and Solstice, an ethereally beautiful girl who dresses Goth. [Characters who weren't worth mentioning in the plot summary aren't worth mentioning in the wrap-up.]
Thank you for your time and consideration.
If I were at war with an enemy I could capture, but couldn't control after I'd captured them, I think I'd just kill them rather than hire humans to control them.
I feel like there's a missing link between "My brother has disappeared" and "My father, twelve years ago, told me stories about the legendary fae folk" that convinces Evie to seek out the fae court. Is this a world in which everyone knows the fae are real?
Is this set in modern times? How old is Evie?
Evie's goal is to find her brother. If she gets wind that her brother and/or father are alive, you might work that in somewhere. That she suspects the king is hiding something isn't enough for me.