Why you don't get published.
Unchosen captions:Don't be alarmed. I was just giving the toilet a very thorough cleaning. Could one of you lend me bus fare to get home?--R. WatsonI found your manuscript in a bottle. Since there was no SASE, I'm here to reject you in person. --Rick DaleyIt's the only way I can find what's left of my 401K. --anon.Holy shit, I've surfaced on Zombie Beach.--EEWhassuuuup? When Ursula Andress tried this, the whole world went crazy...--WOWhenever I visit Londonderry, I spend a day by the River Muff.. --anon.Surprise! --anon.Man, that was a night out I will NEVER forget! --anon.No. It's not the creepy janitor this time! --Ames PlazaIt's OK -- I got the Spongebob account! --anon.No, I am not the fifth Teletubbie. --anon.Yeah, the water's cold... --anon.Woman says: Quick, Ishmael, go fetch the harpoon! --anon
Would it not be a Zombie Squirrel if it's going for the nuts?
There's a new Hell's Kitchen starting tonight. They must have fixed their bleeper.
Ohhhh, ril....A new Hell's Kitchen? Hmmmm. Not sure I can like another one after Paula, who definitely shoulda won the last one, was beaten by a 23 year old who favored 'bass on big platters' hung on walls as his decorating motif.
I might have to buy a new TV. There are only so many bleeps a TV has built in it before it dies, you know.
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