Why you don't get published.
Unchosen Captions:Drip Cartoon:So nail up another manuscript from the slush pile and get back to the typing! And get that frown off your face.--Mother (Re)producesI don't care if the bats are crying. I need to read the slush out loud.--Mother (Re)producesThis isn't where you get the water for the coffee, is it? Nevermind! I don't want to know. --Mother (Re)producesOh, man -- the sound... Keep holding it, I need to run upstairs for another piss. --anon.Hey, I told you to get that roofer guy's number. --Rod the RooferMaybe we should switch the Rejection Suite to the ground floor. --woSee? I promised you I'd promote you from reading slush! --kkSorry to bring him here, but my ceilings at home are too low for a giraffe.--JohnOh, and when Gustav the Incontinent gets back from the bathroom, tell him we won't be buying How to Be a Straight Shooter. --anon.I don't care what you think, Miss Varmigan, this new style of urinal works for me. --McKoalaKayak Cartoon:(singing) Oh, I'm an editor and I'm OK,I slush all night and I crush all day!An ego here, a daydream there,A hopeful in the lift;I hammer with rejections,I tell them it's a gift.(Refrain)Oh, he's an editor and he's OK,Reads slush all night and rejects all day!--Mother (Re)producesQuit whining and keep filming. There are no crocs in this riv-- --anon.But Ranger, these muttonchops are my flotation device.--John
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