Why you don't get published.
I first heard this told as a telelphone joke, that is one side of the conversation. I'd say Newhart, but I'm not sure if he did it. I know that Flip Wilson told it from both characters on his TV show and I liked to die laughing.Your Dog DiedMany years ago there was a wealthy gentlemen who had a large house in the country. He had a caretaker who would take him to town in the horse and buggy to run his errands. When he traveled, as he often did, his caretaker would watch over the house. The caretaker was a man of few words. One day the caretaker picked up the gentleman at the train station after he had been away on business. They watched as the magnificent steam locomotive pulled its load of cars from the station and around a curve. As the sound of the train's whistle faded in the distance they began the trip to the country. The gentleman asked his caretaker if anything had happened while he was away. The caretaker replied, "No, nothing much happened. 'Cept your dog died." The gentleman asked, "Oh? My dog died? How did he die?" The caretaker replied, "Well, I reckon it was from eating the burned horse meat." The gentleman asked, "Burned horse meat? Where did he find burned horse meat?" The caretaker replied, "In the barn. When the sparks landed on the roof the barn caught fire and burned. The horses were trapped inside. Your dog got into the barn, ate the burned horse meat, and died." The gentleman asked, "Where did the sparks come from?" The caretaker replied, "Well they came from the house." "The house?," the gentleman asked. "What happened to the house!" The caretaker replied, "Well, when the candle got knocked over the curtain caught fire and sparks from the house landed on the barn roof. When the barn burned the horses were inside. The dog ate the burned horse meat and died." The gentleman asked frantically, "Candle! Candle! What candle!" The caretaker replied, "It was by the casket." "CASKET! WHAT CASKET!" the gentleman yelled. The caretaker replied, "The casket your wife was in. When we found her in bed with that other gentleman she was very frightened and her heart gave out. At the funeral one of the candles fell over and the curtain caught fire. The sparks from the house landed on the barn roof and the barn burned with the horses inside. The dog got into the barn and ate the burned horse meat and died." "So," the gentleman exclaimed, "I thought you said nothing happened while I was away!" The caretaker replied, "Naw, nothing much happened. 'Cept your dog died."
Dave, this is really funny! I just finished editing my story (adding the tension, yanno), I mean just finished, and popped over here for a break. I saw this earlier but didn't have time to read it then. I do now. Even have time to laugh. Thanks for that!Cheers,
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