Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Guess the Plot
1. In her hasty scan of the employment ads, Mirra misread the position title as "storekeeper." Now she's paying the price, having to memorize 800 years of oral history. Also, a disgruntled elf.
2. When the wicked Chaos Mage sends a dead body crashing through the window of the occult folklore bookstore, the owner is upset--until she realizes this will bring her more customers than ever.
3. She came, she saw, she kicked our asses as Miss Snark. Now she's back as . . . the Lorekeeper. Will the blogosphere ever be the same?
4. When Jake wanders down his suburban street to look for his lost puppy late one night, he meets the homeless guy his mom warned him about. The guy's not crazy like Mom said, though . . . he's the last remaining Lorekeeper . . . and he needs an apprentice.
5. Meek nurse's aid Wendy Covens wonders why none of the elderly in Fern Home can remember the good old days. Could Dr. Skull be removing their memories with his diabolical Loresucker Vacuum Device? And if he is, how can Wendy and her stuttering crush, orderly Chad Stubbins, stop him?
6. F'girth is the only male in the clan still alive. As such, he is the only one eligible to become Loremaster, keeper of the clan history. But the clan elders have a problem: Face extinction or change the clan law that requires the Loremaster to be a celibate male. F'girth is ticked that he doesn't get a vote.
Dear Evil Editor,
LOREKEEPER is a 85,000-word paranormal thriller set in a world where only a small percentage of humanity believes in ghosts, magic, vampires, or anything else supernatural. Of course, that small percentage is [the ghosts, the vampires and the zombies.] right.
After her grandfather's death, all Kanna Tanvert wants out of life is for Grandad's "specialized" used book store to eke out her living for a few more years. [And then what?] Unfortunately, occult literature and folklore doesn't quite pay the bills. Worse, the death magic cast on the grounds when a dead man crashes through her display window pretty much crushes her modest hopes and sends her into hiding with the Diplomat, the most notorious assassin in the country. [Replacing my display window will cost more than I make in a month. I may as well close the store and run off with this notorious assassin.]
He makes no bones about his reasons for helping her: he wants the Chaos Mage. He will do anything to kill the man who destroyed his former life, including dangling Kanna like the proverbial carrot. [A bit of research reveals that there are several proverbs involving carrots:
Never bolt your door with a boiled carrot.
A dish of carrot hastily cooked may still have soil uncleaned off the vegetable.
If there is no cucumber a carrot will have to do.
And the one you apparently were citing: You can catch more flies with a carrot than with a stick.]
Enlisting help from a few morally dubious allies, Kanna and the Diplomat declare war on a legend, using their own lives as bait.
When Kanna discovers that the wicked Chaos Mage is actually her brother--traded to the old Chaos Mage by her parents
[Old Chaos Mage: I want your son.
Kanna's parents: We're not giving you our son!
Old Chaos Mage: Giving? No, no, I want to trade for him.
Kanna's parents: We wouldn't trade our son for anyth-- Say, what's in that colorful box with the question marks all over it?]
before she was born--and the death magic cast on her shop was actually a success spell meant to keep her in modestly prosperous business for the rest of her life, [Your sister is having a rough time of it with her bookshop, so to help her out you kill a guy and throw his body through her window?] [Wait a minute, did you call this a modestly prosperous success spell? What does he have to do to make her wildly successful? Throw two dead bodies through her window?] she must choose between her only family and the man she has come to trust and count as a friend. Both are murderers. Neither will let her just walk away. [Why won't her brother let her walk away? Has she harmed him? A minute ago he was helping her out by hurling a dead body through her window; now he won't let her walk away?]
I have a BA in English from Missouri Southern State University, and I formerly freelanced for the Joplin Globe, the premier newspaper in my area. The full manuscript is available at your request.
Thank you for your consideration.
If heaving a corpse through someone's window is supposed to be a good thing, you might want to inform the person of that fact prior to the actual toss.
Does Kanna know the Diplomat is a notorious assassin? If a dead body came through my window I'd be freaked out for a while, but when nothing else happened--except an unexpected horde of customers suddenly descending on my store to buy folklore books--I would not assume that my best move was to run off with a notorious assassin.
What makes them think using their lives as bait will work? What does the Chaos Mage want with their lives?
I'm sure everything makes perfect sense in the book. Clear up a few of the questions in the query and this will be fine.