Thursday, January 11, 2007

Take a Deep Breath

Fourteen Year Old Writer said...
HOLY CRAP! I'm next. I'm trying not to hyperventilate.

Fourteen? We just did one from an eighteen-year-old. What's next, Life Here in the Womb, by the future Jane Doe, as dictated to my prison walls, aka my mother's gargantuan stomach?

Chapter 1

This has to be the dullest place on the face of the Earth. I been in here eight months and I'm perfectly healthy. Would it kill you to drink a half glass of wine? Something to take the edge off? Christ.

Did you get that, or am I going too fast for you? ANSWER ME! Answer me, or I'll kick you in the spleen, and yes, I know where it is.

Did you send out that query I dictated yesterday? I want that three-book contract waiting for me when I get outta here, and I mean the minute I get outta here. Otherwise you're gonna be dealing with colic. Is that clear? I said, IS THAT CLEAR?! And if my agent can't be bothered to be in the birthing room, she's gone, understood?

8 comments:

xiqay said...

Well, if sperm can send in their continuations, I guess in utero children can too.
:-)

Bernita said...

A trifle jejeune.
This is why babies get slapped at birth?

Anonymous said...

...anyway, Daddy put his pencil in her months ago, and I'm still waiting for the paper.

Anonymous said...

It's a girl! -JTC

Anonymous said...

After visiting her blog it's only natural that I'm skeptic.

She is one very intelligent young lady. Harvard, look out.

Rebecca said...

Suddenly, all those pregnancy pains make sense...

cm allison said...

Ah, are NONE of you old enough to remember Eggbert? Cartoon of a fetus, occasionally with twin sister. Pretty funny

Anonymous said...

Here's the starter from one by a 9 year old (the complete story runs to 2+K ever more bloody words):

LAURA

From the second Laura was born she made trouble. It all started at her baby shower. She decided that she wanted the presents right then and there. So she gave a kick. It took a few minutes of kicking and Laura’s mother suffered terribly. Then she fainted. Laura finally kicked a hole large enough to get out of her mother’s stomach. But when she tried to drag in the presents she found that the hole was too small. Meanwhile, all of the women that had been at the shower rushed home and called their doctors. Altogether, fourteen different doctors came. It took all of them to capture Laura. She and her mother were both hospitalized. Laura got out of the hospital in three months. She had done well, only killing five nurses, three doctors and one janitor. (Of course if you must know she killed eighteen visitors.)

P. S. she killed her mom’s obstetrician.