WHAT’S A MAN GOTTA DO TO KILL HIMSELF?
I turned Hellfire over in my hands. It’s not easy to get a gun in India, especially when you’re nineteen, but I managed. Don't ask me how. When Castor Castlevere puts his mind to something, it happens.
I put the semi-automatic to my head. The hard part was over. Now all I had to do was pull the trigger.
My fingers refused to cooperate. What was stopping me? I knew I wanted to do this.
With a jolt, I realized I couldn’t tarnish the memory of this house for my family.
Yes, that was it. I wasn’t afraid; the very idea was ludicrous. Castor Castlevere is the bravest, boldest person you’ll ever meet.
I’m also caring and compassionate. Not on the level of a Mother Teresa, but way above the average person. Everything about me is miles above average. That was one reason I wanted to quit this life. How would I ever cope with being something less than other people? Castor
Castlevere, until now always the most brilliant, most handsome guy in class, could never accept being considered a monstrosity, an object of pity or ridicule.
I stood, but somehow I couldn’t put one foot in front of the other to walk out of my bedroom, let alone the house. What was going on?
Light bulb moment! I couldn’t exit this life without letting my family know where to find my body. I wasn’t so selfish as to leave them wondering.
I stepped into the parlor, where my family was having tea and discussing politics. "Castor Castlevere will be found on a bench at the south end of the park," I announced.
"It is rude to interrupt," my father said. "We were discussing important matters."
"Castor Castlevere does not care," I replied boldly. How could any matters be more important than me, anyway? Did I mention I was miles above average?
"Who is that person?" my mother asked. My sister burst out laughing.
"Do not laugh at Castor Castlevere!" I shouted. In addition to being more caring and compassionate than anyone else in the world, I could also become more angry. Everything about me was just … more.
"I am not laughing at Castle Creepyvere," my sister said. "I am laughing at you!"
"Your name is Pradeep," my father said. My mother nodded in agreement.
Lightbulb moment! I didn't want to kill myself after all. The world needed me in it. But something had to be done about this family. I pulled Hellfire from my pocket and pointed it at my father's head, and pulled the trigger. Then the same for my mother. Aiming at my sister, the worst of them all, I pulled the trigger over and over again.
"Where did you get that?" my father asked. My mother looked both shocked and angry. My sister laughed louder than ever. If I am the best of everything, she is exactly the opposite.
It's not easy to get bullets in India, but one day I am going to get some. Don't ask me how. Castor Castlevere's mind is made up about this.
Opening: Crossword.....Continuation: JRMosher