Guess the Plot
A Not So Quiet Hostage
1. After witnessing a murder, Alice Platinum is taken hostage by the murderer. But only for one month. That's as much of Alice as he can stand.
2. It was a simple plan. Kidnap one of the king's daughters, collect the ransom, retire to the tropics. But the princess that bandits Fenton and Bock grab has a terrible secret: she snores. Also, she wants to join their gang.
3. Gwen, drunk and wandering, encounters a real centaur in Adirondack Park. He throws her over his back and ties her up on his bed. They engage in the most interesting acts for weeks until Gwen's abusive husband beats on the door with his rifle.
4. Aid worker Petra is taken hostage by insurgents, beaten daily and threatened with beheading. Her situation seems hopeless until she realizes she can project her thoughts to one of the captors. Can she persuade him to release her? Or will he accuse her of witchcraft, guaranteeing her death?
5. Ax'nat'Henes has seized the Earth as hostage until the Sun returns those comets stolen when the solar system first formed. Since the comets were runaways and not stolen, the Sun has no intention of returning them. And so another 10.9 hits Los Angeles while Earth fights for freedom.
6. Elf twins Talien and Glorian have a great plan for world peace: Capture Dwarf Prince Maggar and hold him hostage. But when the Prince turns out to be a spoiled, petulant drag queen, will they give in to the Dwarf King's demands? Or will they find a way to return the Prince?
Dear Evil Editor,
A terrible past has haunted a twenty-four year old young lady named Alice Platinum for nearly six years, but when she moved far away to shut away all the lies and gossips, her worst nightmare arose from the blue.
A horrifying death of a young go-go dancer was witnessed by Alice’s eyes, but the guy who killed her was no other than, Jason Hampton; [,] a past high school rival. He had figured out who saw him, [;] before everything becomes exposed he kidnapped Alice and kept her hostage for a month. [Pluperfect, present and past verb forms in one sentence. Impressive.] Now to prevent her from exposing him, Alice was forced to join Jason on his dreadful mission without turning back. Not only is the truth of Jason’s deadly murder [All murders are deadly. Maybe it should be deadly mission and dreadful murder instead of vice versa.] being exposed, [Who is exposing it?] but his luck and faith lies with Alice. [
While the whole world assumes she knows a top secret code; a seven letter word which would open a safe that contains one tiny piece of paper, [Great scenes inspired by that clause:
1. A billionaire, having purchased an impregnable safe in which to keep his bearer bonds, writes the combination on a piece of paper because he's afraid he'll forget it, and then, afraid some criminal will find the piece of paper, locks it in the safe.
2. Ruthless criminals torture a billionaire for hours until he finally reveals the combination to his safe; they open the safe and there's nothing inside except a slip of paper on which is written the combination.] multiple criminals are after it, [Is the seven-letter word "dolphin"?] [I have no reason to believe it is, but think how amazed the author would be if I got it right.] [....did I?] but one in particular is only after her; Mr. Stollen a massive criminal. [Maybe if he laid off the Stollen he wouldn't be so massive.]
Six Massive Criminals
|Fat Tony (The Simpsons)|
|The Penguin (Batman)|
Mr. Stollen (A Not-so-Quiet Hostage)
|The Slug (Capt. America)|
|Jabba the Hutt (Star Wars)|
|Don Corleone (The Godfather)|
Now that her past stopped haunting her, Alice’s future lies under Jason’s hand. Alice tries to force her mind to trust him, but all the evidence provided proved her wrong because she is afraid of--- finding out the truth. While an ugly secret becomes exposed, not only about Stollen and Jason’s past rival, but about Alice’s disappearance and taunting past. Now to stop her past from taking over her future, Alice has to figure out what to do, all alone and to listen to all the unbarring truth which has to be revealed. [Possibly the vaguest four-sentence paragraph ever to appear on this blog.]
A Not So Quiet Hostage is a 50,00 word count, mystery novel. [Mystery? What's the mystery? Jason is the murderer and Alice's eyes witnessed it.]
I get it. Writing is in your blood, and for some reason you've decided to write this book in English. But you don't have the idioms and the punctuation and the word usage down yet. And once you've mastered the conventions, you'll still need to choose specific information that captures our interest, and organize it in a coherent, cohesive summary of your story.
A summary that might address some of the following:
Why is Stollen interested in Alice?
If Alice saw Jason commit murder, wouldn't he flee the country or silence her forever, rather than hold her hostage for one month?
Why does the whole world think Alice knows a top secret code? I don't see why anyone would think that. Who is she?
What is Jason's "mission"?