"What do you mean, no presents for children this year?” Santa Claus was puffing on his exercise bike when the new Head Elf marched into his office.
“We’ve looked at the records of every child, Santa. Each one is bad and deserves no present. You and the reindeers can have a quiet night at home this Christmas Eve instead.”
“No good children anywhere?” Santa Claus tumbled off the bike in panic. “But... the world will be full of disappointed kids on Christmas morning.”
“Well,” the Head Elf said with a shrug. “That’ll teach those horrible brats to behave.”
"What have they done that's so terrible?"
"It's not what they've done, it's what they HAVEN'T done!" the Head Elf said, his muttonchops quivering. "Not a single one of the runts has submitted a query, an opening or even a fake plot to m... er, Evil Editor's great blog."
"Since when do kids have to... say, is that my Santa suit you're wearing?"
"Had to. The elf outfits were way too small. Now to my Christmas list. Let's see: 12 tweeters following, 11 minions commenting; 10 readers book-chatting; 9 queries awaiting...."
Opening: JAS.....Continuation: John