Wednesday, October 02, 2013
Guess the Plot
1. Poodle Millie, Labrador Duke and Pug Willie stage a daring escape from the vet when they learn that they aren't there to be tutored.
2. Average guy Daniel Travers is abducted and taken to a secret military facility in New Mexico where his life becomes a nightmare of pain and fear as a mad doctor performs unethical experiments on him and the Taliban.
3. A mysterious talisman gives Renee the ability to go back in time by one minute and alter very recent history. She now always has the wittiest come-back, and the casino is her oyster... but who'd have thought creating so many alternative histories would upset the fabric of time-space so badly that the universe is now unstable?
4. Broadway seamstress Pippa was sure she'd hidden every unseemly detail. But when a wardrobe malfunction in Charlie Buckles' costume reveals his gill plates, the audience--and the world--learn the shocking truth.
5. After a magical accident gives the dogs of Menifee County, Kentucky advanced cognitive skills, opposable thumbs, and a thirst for revenge, veterinarian Frank Wallace must run for his life. Or, not his life, exactly, but...
6. Detective John Bostic knew his faith was being tested when the Captain assigned him to his third religious murder in as many weeks. In every case the corpse was butchered, reassembled to look like a cubist Picasso painting and left on an altar. The pastor of the Tenth Church of Christ has blood on his hands and Bostic must prove his guilt before someone else is . . . altered.
Dear Evil Editor
A military facility hidden away in New Mexico is doing some highly unethical research on POW's from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.
[Sergeant: We've captured so many Taliban we're running out of places to put them, sir. Should we kill them and bury them in a mass grave?
Captain: No, we're also running out of places to put mass graves. Besides, I've just received word that a facility in New Mexico doing highly unethical research needs subjects for their experiments. How many troop transport planes can we commandeer?]
Things go from bad to much worse when the doctor heading up the research arranges to have a US citizen abducted. [Bad: Highly unethical research on Iraqi and Afghan subjects. Much worse: Abducting one US citizen.]
Daniel Travers is just your average guy trying to provide for his family until he unknowingly lands on the radar of the wrong people. Somewhere deep in his genetic code Daniel is blessed with the ability to heal faster and more completely than humanly possible [Either it is humanly possible, or Daniel isn't human.] and that's exactly what Dr. Steven Reynolds needed to be able to take the next step in his research. [If what you need to take the next step in your research is someone who heals faster than humanly possible, and such a person suddenly turns up, I suggest you immediately buy a lottery ticket.]
Willing to sacrifice anyone for the success of his project, Dr. Reynolds arranges for the abduction of Daniel. [He arranged this in the 2nd sentence. Two paragraphs later he's still arranging it?] From that point Daniel's life becomes a nightmare of pain and fear.
Daniel desperately tries to escape and get back to his family but the cost is more than he can bear. [What is the cost?] Because of that, when he is later offered help, he almost turns it down in fear of what would happen if things go wrong again. [This is our hero? Afraid to try to escape because things might go wrong?]
Altered is a suspense thriller, with a science fiction twist, complete at 70,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration
Apparently you don't care to reveal the nature of Dr. Reynolds' project, but without that information it's impossible for us to get even mildly interested in the story.
It's all setup and it's mostly vague. We can condense the entire query into: Daniel Travers, blessed with superhuman healing genes, is abducted by a doctor who needs Daniel in order to complete a secret project. If you expand on that by telling us what the doctor is up to, what happens if he succeeds, and what Daniel plans to do about it, you might interest us. Right now, the main character is doing nothing and you don't tell us what the villain is doing.
If Reynolds is willing to sacrifice anyone, wouldn't it be easier to abduct a few illegal aliens from Santa Fe than to have the military transport POWs from Iraq and Afghanistan to New Mexico?
How does Reynolds know Travers heals really fast?