Guess the Plot
Kitty Kitty Bang Bang
1. In this graphic novel, Springfield is invaded by ferocious wildcats and all hope seems lost-- until Elmer Fudd comes to the rescue. Plus, a werecoyote.
2. Bubba Hollowell has a harmless enough hobby; he shoots cats. But now the kitties have acquired a few firearms of their own, and it's payback time.
3. When her favorite cat explodes, Ezzie is devastated. She goes after the culprit, a mad scientist who plans to take over the most brilliant minds of America using nanobots. With nothing but a disembodied cat head in her purse, can Ezzie save the world?
4. Two Russian cats eat mice that ate cheese enchanted by Rasputin - and foment a fauna-driven Revolution against punyhumans. Explosive! With psyanka.
5. Kitty had always been a girly girl, but when the family business is assassinations there is only so far a pink gun with glitter grips can go.
6. In the wild, wild west there's only one rule – whoever has the fastest gun wins. When the sinister Black Bart tries to stake a claim to Miss Kitty's cathouse, he quickly learns that no one out shoots . . . Kitty Kitty Bang Bang.
Dear Evil Editor,
Ezzie Abacus is devastated when Zep [Anagram: Pez] the lab cat explodes. After all, Zep was the first experimental robot that Ezzie and her husband, mad scientist Conrad, ever built. But when Ezzie and Conrad collect Zep’s scattered paws and sparking wires, they discover this was no accident—this was sabotage.
Not entirely successful sabotage, though. Zep triggered his own self-destruct command when someone tried to hack into him. Ezzie and Conrad travel to the nearest chapterhouse of the Mad Scientists Local 42 for assistance, only to find the union hall infiltrated by killer robots. First Zep and now the Local 42—as Ezzie and Conrad judo-chop their way through the killer bots, they suspect something bigger than cat-enabled [cat related?] espionage is going on here. [These killer robots are pretty pathetic if they can't take out two puny humans. Have they actually ever killed anyone?]
Their suspicion naturally falls on the head of rival organization VIRAL. Victor von Steele has a knack for robotics and a long-time feud with the Local 42, and happens to be Ezzie’s former mentor and current nemesis. Ezzie and Conrad set out to find von Steele, but are taken aback when he finds them first. VIRAL is not behind the attacks, he claims, but a target of them as well. [A whole paragraph to get the wrong guy?]
While Conrad follows one lead, Ezzie reluctantly teams up with von Steele to pursue another. Together they descend into the Labyrinth, a hidden network of abandoned storage rooms and research facilities beneath New Mexico [aka Area 42]. After a battle with still-active guardian robots, Ezzie finds a fugitive mad scientist who at first seems to be the target she seeks. After a frantic chase from New Mexico to Massachusetts, Ezzie nabs her man—only to find he is not the mastermind, but a bystander who saw too much and now is on the run himself. [Another whole paragraph to get another wrong guy?]
With the information gained from her captive, Ezzie learns the true identity of the mastermind. The reclusive Dr. Lesta, founder of the Local 42, has succumbed to the burdens of his genius and become a truly mad scientist. His plan: to use a nanobot swarm to take over the most brilliant minds of America and use their intellect to further his own ends. [What are his ends?] He threatens the lives of hundreds of fellow scientists—including Conrad, now a prisoner aboard Lesta’s air fortress. Ezzie needs to get aboard that air fortress, rescue her husband, and destroy the nanobots before they can infect their targets. All she has is her old nemesis at her side and a disembodied cat head in her purse. [Is the head still operational? Now that I know it's a disembodied head, I think Ezzie should start calling it Pez.] [Can Ezzie talk to the head?
Ezzie: How the hell are we gonna get into that air fortress?
Pez: Do you have to carry perfume in your purse? I can't breathe in here. And get your thumb off my head. I told you, I don't have any candy.]
But Ezzie is a genius in her own right, and she won’t rest until Conrad is saved and Zep is avenged.
Kitty Kitty Bang Bang is a 90,000-word campy science fiction novel with elements of super-science. [I don't need to know it has elements of super-science, as I don't know nor care what that means.] My credits include story X appearing in the summer issue of small-press magazine, and numerous roleplaying game books, the most recent of which is Book Y by publishing company you might have heard of. Thank you for your time and attention.
The book sounds like fun. The plot summary is too long for a query. If you need a short synopsis this might do, but your query should have an even shorter synopsis. Something like:
Ezzie Abacus is devastated when Zep the lab cat explodes. After all, Zep was the first experimental robot that Ezzie and her husband, mad scientist Conrad, ever built. But when Ezzie and Conrad collect Zep’s scattered paws and sparking wires, they discover this was no accident—this was sabotage.
Their suspicion naturally falls on robotics expert Victor von Steele, Ezzie’s former mentor and current nemesis; so they're taken aback when he finds them first and claims he too is a victim. Ezzie reluctantly teams up with von Steele. Together they learn that Dr. Lesta, founder of Mad Scientists Local 42, has succumbed to the burdens of his genius and become a truly mad scientist. His plan: release a nanobot swarm on the most brilliant minds of America and use their intellect to start a social networking site for robots.
Lesta threatens the lives of hundreds of fellow scientists—including Conrad, now a prisoner aboard Lesta’s air fortress. Ezzie needs to get aboard that air fortress and destroy the nanobots before they can infect their targets. All she has going for her is the disembodied cat head in her purse. But Ezzie is a genius in her own right, and she won’t rest until Conrad is saved and Zep is avenged.
Not clear why the evil genius set on world domination tried to hack into the first robot Ezzie ever built. Surely there were more sophisticated robots to hack into than this cat.