Sunday, July 29, 2012

Fake Plots for Published Books


Back in 2006 we had a competition to see who could write the funniest fake plots for titles on a given list of published books. These were the winning entries:

Bet Me
Bill looked at the four Jacks in his hand, and at the rugged cowboy across the table. He had nothing else to wager until his girlfriend whispered in his ear . . .  "Bet me."

The Door Into Summer
Summer knew she was having a lot of operations lately, but she really didn't appreciate her surgeon's new time-saving innovation.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
A sorceress teaches Detroit's star running back about life, love, and the pursuit of proper accessories.

The League of Frightened Men

Sick of the over-courageous heroics of the world's standard superheroes, Mr. Timorous, Phobiaman, Captain France and The ScaredyCat team up to fight evil--as long as it doesn't make any loud noises.

Portnoy's Complaint
He doesn't care how many times they put him on hold; Dan Portnoy is determined to tell off his cell phone provider, or die trying.

The Crack in Space

I have no idea what happens, but it's obviously on Uranus.


As the queries aren't exactly rolling in these days, those who enjoy composing fake plots have nothing to do. So, I've chosen six books from my bookshelf. Your job: come up with amusing fake plots for any or all.


Without Feathers
The Thin Man
Confessions of a Crap Artist
Virtual Banality
Juliet, Naked
The Hunger Games

5 comments:

Lisa said...

The Thin Man

Girl Scouts nationwide set out on their annual shakedown of the American public. They don their badge-adorned sashes and set off on a door to door . . . oh, wait - you said the thin MAN? Never mind.

Lisa said...

Confessions of a Crap Artist

A tire-retreader has some interesting ideas about life, matter, and reality. Despite his eccentricities, his supposedly normal sister and her husband are crazier than he is. Also, chocolate-covered ants and lots of deep existential stuff that make you appear intelligent during discussions at your weekly book club. Glass of wine optional, but recommended. Two or more preferred.

EE - I understand if you don't publish this GTP. It's obviously ludicrous and couldn't possibly fool anyone into thinking it's a real plot.

Anonymous said...

The Hunger Games

Josiah Hunger has a dream before he dies. He's booked the courtyard and the barbecue area in his senior care facility for his reading of the will party. Now all he needs now is for his sons, his daughters, and his myriad of grandchildren to arrive. They're unaware they'll be playing a game of wits and daring to decide who inherits Josiah's vast estate. Before the night is over, the hungriest will be the victor. First up is the potato sack race, followed by egg in the spoon. Will anyone survive? Or will the fortune revert to shady real estate developer Cash Adams, who has hired a ringer for the Whack-A-Mole finale?

A. M. Perkins said...

"Without Feathers": The story of what really happened to the Ugly Duckling after he showed off his new look to the other young birds... Avian jealousy can be a very ugly thing.

Dave Fragments said...

Without Feathers
The life of Papageno in stark, modern metallic grays, steel blues and as the titular title says, sans plumage.

The Thin Man
The teen years of Rush Limbaugh, fictionalized.

Confessions of a Crap Artist
Cora and Rick Barles and their little doggie piddles solve the crime of the month

Virtual Banality
Biopic of Russel Brand

Juliet, Naked
The true literary successor to Juliet, Removing, Juliet, Taking it all Off, and Juliet, Panties Only...