Face-Lift 898

Guess the Plot

Of the Dark

1. Dark Meat goes on a road tour that blows through Ogden and changes it forever when the members of the band answer a desperate call for sperm donors. The bank is replenished but ten years down the road the next generation of Ogdenians turn out to be mutant classical cellists.

2. Mike has always had a fear of the dark. A new therapy- one night spent in total darkness with a counselor- looks promising, mainly because the counselor is smoking hot. Then the woman is mysteriously murdered during the night, and Mike suddenly has a real reason to be afraid . . . Of the Dark.

3. Country lass Adastea has a tough decision: should she marry Mor-Lath, God of the Dark, and help him destroy the Gods of the Light? Or should she decline his proposal and risk never getting married? Spoiler alert. Wedding bells are gonna chime.

4. Lumia is a Spirit of the Light, representing all that is good and pure. It is her duty to protect the world of Alagera from evil, not an easy job, especially when she winds up between the sheets with Domar, a Spirit of the Dark. Can she overcome her attraction and fulfill her destiny to destroy Domar and his kind?

5. Vampires! They don't turn into bats, sparkle or have fangs, and they do have reflections, but they will drink your blood! Oh, hang on, they're just highly organized, deranged serial killers! And they're after the protagonists, who are smoking hot and scantily clad!

6. It was the worst blind date, ever. After the hurricane blew the roof off Bud's Cafe, they took off running. It was too dark to see the bridge to the mainland was gone and the water was full of vampires. WTF? Talk about a bad swim! Plus, zombie alligators and a boatload of haunted pirates in pursuit of fabled diamonds.



Original Version

Dear Evil Editor,

Country lass Adrastea has received a proposal of marriage from Mor-Lath, God of the Dark. That is not the sort of news she wishes to share with the whole village ere they condemn her as a witch. [I'd go with "lest" rather than "ere" there.] [If I'm engaged to Mor-Lath, God of the Dark, villagers condemn me as a witch at their own peril.] Those few she’s confided in­--her family and the village priestess­--advise her to turn down his proposal. [If you need to consult other people about whether to marry Mor-Lath, God of the Dark, you are beyond salvation.]

But he won’t take no for an answer and steadily increases the pressure for her to accept. Only in the end does she agree in order to save her village from destruction. [Threatening to destroy your beloved's village almost always gets an engagement off to a rocky start.]

For all his godly wisdom and millennia of life-experience, the one thing Mor-Lath does not know is how to be a good husband. Their marriage starts to fail from day one: infidelity, secrets and abandonment. [If you can't get through one day of your marriage without being unfaithful and abandoning your spouse, you, too, are beyond salvation. Although I suppose if your name is Mor-Lath, God of the Dark, that goes without saying.] [What name does she go by? Adrastea-Lath, or Adrastea, Goddess of the Dark?]

Adrastea learns from the Gods of the Light the true reason behind Mor-Lath’s desire to marry; he is only a demigod. [So he was actually Mor-Lath, Demigod of the Dark.] [Every guy has a few secrets he keeps from his wife, but failing to reveal that you're only a demigod is sure to come back to haunt you.] Only together--male and female--can they become full gods, thus making him strong enough to defeat the Light in the final battle. [But they're already married. How much more together can they get?] [I find it hard to believe one God of the Dark can defeat all the Gods of the Light just because he married a country lass.]

Armed with this knowledge and power, she is faced with a dilemma: does she side with the God of the Dark or does she choose to defeat her husband even though it could mean her own destruction? [Good or evil. That's always a dilemma.]

“Of The Dark” is a fantasy trilogy of three books, “Troth of the Dark,” “Bride of the Dark” and “House of the Dark”, each novel being 120,000 words. [Amazing coincidence.] [Based on these titles, they get married in book 2? 120,000 words of her deciding whether to marry Mor-Lath, God of the Dark, followed by 120,000 words of her being married to Mor-Lath, God of the Dark, followed by 120,000 words of fighting over who gets to keep the house?] The manuscripts are complete and ready to send to you should you wish to see more.

I’m a published writer of moderate repute. I’ve has [had] several short stories published in Somewhat Famous SF magazine and Kinda Famous magazine and have a career in freelance nonfiction.

Thank you for your consideration; I look forward to your reply.

Regards,


Notes

I get the impression you're querying for the entire trilogy. This doesn't allow you to say much about any one part of it. No one's likely to ask you to send them a 360,000-word trilogy, so query the first novel, and tell them it's book 1 of a trilogy. Then you can work in more of the book 1 plot.

This is the penultimate 5-year-old query salvaged from Netherworld to get us through lean times. Three new queries are currently awaiting fake plots.