Sunday, September 05, 2010

Sunday Feature 4





Caption: Gwen Ever


Caption: Anon.


Caption: Anon.


Caption: Whirlochre


Caption: Anon.


Caption: Vivian Whetham


Caption: Roger Eschbacher



Caption: Anon.



Caption: M.G.E.




Caption: Roger Eschbacher


Caption: Evil Editor




Below are some of the unchosen captions. More chosen and unchosen captions will appear in the future with the regular weekday cartoons.



DNA^blue = MC(eat)^2--Faceless Minion

You want a reference? Here's a reference: "Klaatu barada nikto" can be loosely translated as "flush the fools down the porcelain. sweetie, there's no intelligent life here. Put that in your pipe and shove it in whatever orifice pleases you most. --Dave F.

That's Mr. Klaatu to you, fuzz-face. --Marissa Doyle
Once magnetic resonance imaging proved our frontal lobes were not significantly different from man or apes, it was easy to discern it was the superior frontal gyrus. Three years later with HD G6 psychosurgery and here we are.--Vivian Whetham

Need stem cells? --Vivian Whetham

Yes, I represent the League of Evil Ex's. Ramona really didn't explain any of this?--M.G.E.

There's nothing intellectual about it, bud, I'm just a swollen headed purple weirdo with no concept of what it means to breeze down the street on a bicycle wearing a regular safety helmet. --Whirlochre

A word of warning: races condemned to one hundred years of snarkitude do not have a second opportunity on earth. --arhooley

This is your brain on E = MC squared. Any questions? --Stacy




Last time I'll sign up for this gig. "...and you know it's working when you start experiencing synesthesia." Yeah, sure, Dr. Leary. But you forgot to tell me I'd literally be watching myself think.--Writtenwyrdd

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?--Mother (Re)produces

I think, therefore ghoti.--Faceless Minion

Hmm, how about "The quill is sharper than the blade." ...Nah.--M.G.E.

And yet, had this rooster not traversed the lane, my story would never have been writ. --anon.

Oh my, Your Majesty, what a pillow fight that was. --anon.

Let's see... The Impotence of Evil Editor...
No, no, no... The Editor of Evil Importance....
No, no, no.. The Ernst of Important Evil! Yes! --Gwen Ever

Should I etch further worry lines onto my face with this quill, or let them arise spontaneously from my indecision? --whirlochre






It wouldn't be so bad if it were digital.--Faceless Minion

See, that's where Schrodinger's pussy fell into the well. --Dave F.

Heh, heh -- looks like boobies. --anon.

Dude! A Higgs boson. This is heavy. --anon.

I've checked everything, and yet it still suggests the singularity is... --anon.

Ah, novel-writing software. I wish all my authors were this easy to work with. --Marissa Doyle



If you want a grave people will remember, think 'Taj Mahal'--Faceless Minion

All I did was mark the semi-demi-quaver solo and the entire viola section played a beautiful tremolo. --Dave F.

"No one is ever going to believe that God is a Puerto Rican steam bath attendant. What sort of an audience would listen to a play set in a steam bath?" --Dave F.

And yet, if one stares at it long enough it becomes quite absurd. --anon.

My God, you're right -- this explains everything! But, why? --anon.





I broke up with her when she slapped my face for saying the Mothers sent me Susie Creamcheese. --Dave F.

Scribimus indocti doctique poemata passim... --anon.

Yes! That's it exactly: A kind of mass debate! --anon.

Your book suggests that the Large Hadron Collider is bending more than just light? --Gwen Ever

... and then the farmer tells the traveling salesman, "E= m c^2= m ( a^2 + b^2)!!!" --Paul Penna





Doctor Quincy would be proud. --Dave F.

What goes here... Dear God, just give me a sine... --anon.

Habemus papam! --Anon.

Yes, our royalty rates are calculated by Stephen Hawking. Why do you ask?--Roge Eschbacher

Therefore you can clearly see E = me and what he said is wrong. --Bibi

At this point in his erroneous calculations, Einstein is rumoured to have remarked, "fuckety fuck fuck fucky fuck, fuckety fuck fuck fuck". Inspired by the poetic cadence of his fury, he later simplified the equation to the now familiar E=mc2. --whirlochre

Oh, yeah... I am the Love Doctor. --anon.

Bongos, shmongos...I'm going to take up the didgeridoo. --Marissa Doyle

I have to keep this bit blurred or the Exxon people will have me killed... --Anon.

7 comments:

fairyhedgehog said...

There are some great ones here and I particularly liked the Heisenberg washing machine one.

I admit to my embarrassment that I only laughed out loud when I got to "Heh, heh -- looks like boobies. --" Clearly I'm not an intellectual. I hang my head in shame.

arhooley said...

Well done, minions! I'm now as curious about many of you as I am about EE.

Dave F. said...

Gee, you know you've written an obscure gag when two weeks later you have to think ten seconds before you get the joke.

These are funny. Good Work minions.

Stephen Prosapio said...

Nice work all!

Whirlochre said...

Who needs college?

Phoenix said...

Oh, these are great! Even some of the unchosen had me rolling.

writtenwyrdd said...

Honestly, I felt pretty dumb reading these. That I even came up with one entry (and it got an also ran) was amazing to me.