Monday, April 26, 2010
Guess the Plot
Nothing Is What It Seems
1. . . . including this book. Nestled inside the cut-out pages is a Colt .45, two seven-round magazines and a roll of hundred dollar bills. I'm Ben Darkley, literary private eye, and I know how to handle overly aggressive wannabe writers.
2. When Debbie Ryman starts work on a new account, she doesn't know her world is about to turn upside down. Turns out her client is a secret society out to conquer the world, her new husband is a CIA agent working to stop them, and her mother-in-law is a demonic, soul-sucking hell-beast. (Well, technically, that last one is exactly what it seems.)
3. First Maya goes to her husband's funeral, but there's no body in the casket. Then her new boyfriend turns out to be a rogue FBI agent hunting her "dead" husband, whose name "just happens" to be an anagram of Evil Satan. It's all par for the course in a town where . . . Nothing is what it seems.
4. Millie thought she was buying a book. What she was buying was a brain washing program designed by the shadowy organization that secretly controls every government in the world. Fortunately, she's a conspiracy theorist.
5. Down is up! Cats are dogs! Mice are toasters! Exclamation points are question marks! Can Emilio escape from this Bizarro world with his priceless violin intact, or will he be trapped forever as a sousaphonist?
6. Pigs flying on dragons and lipstick tubes offering cosmetic advice and that's not all Dannie encounters after falling through a manhole cover in New York City. If only she can get out before Man Croc, ruler of the underground cesspool, forces her to become his bride.
Dear Evil Editor,
An empty casket funeral entwines the lives of a relieved widow, a grieving child, a rogue FBI agent, and a badass loan shark with a penchant for shooting people. [Shooting people who owe you money is counterproductive.] In the small Texan town of Hill’s Creek, everyone has secrets . . . but some secrets are worth killing for. [Or so it seems. But nothing is what it seems.]
Bent on avenging his sister’s death, Agent Jonah White is on a vigilante quest to track down Eli Savant, con artist-turned-killer, and the fifty thousand dollars he allegedly stole. Instead, Eli’s widow, and possible accomplice, tumbles into Jonah’s arms, and right into his heart. [Or so it seems. But nothing is what it seems.] One look in Maya’s eyes and one impish smile from her 5-year-old daughter, Lily, and a smitten Jonah is willing to do anything to gain her trust. Their budding romance, and Jonah’s secret investigation, is threatened however when a dead body implicates him in murder and an old acquaintance warns Maya of impending danger. [Move the two commas in that sentence so that they surround "however." And change "is" to "are."] When Eli resurfaces, very much alive, everything spirals out of control: Jonah’s lies are exposed, Lily is abducted and Maya loses faith. To win back Maya’s love and save Lily from certain death, Jonah must trust Eli, the one man responsible for everything. In the end, it all comes down to who you trust because nothing is what it seems. [That's what I was gonna say.] One will die, and one will save the day. But who will win back Maya’s love? [My money's on the one who saves the day.]
NOTHING IS WHAT IT SEEMS (79,000 words) is a completed work of romantic suspense. Thank you for considering my book for representation.
I'm pretty sure that something is what it seems.
I don't think we need the loan shark in the first sentence.
How long has Eli been missing when they decide to have his funeral? Usually when there's no body they assume the guy ran off to Vegas with his mistress.
How can you claim Jonah is "willing to do anything to gain her trust" when he doesn't even tell her who he is?
There seem to be a lot of absolutes here. Everyone has secrets. Jonah is willing to do anything. Everything spirals out of control. Certain death. The one man responsible for everything. Nothing is what it seems. Aren't there any gray areas in this town?
Paragraphing would be nice in the long plot section. A new paragraph in the first two places I put blue words. Also, I think I'd drop the last two sentences of the plot.