Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Guess the Plot
1. Wakey wakey! C'mon, slugger, you've got a big day. Up and at 'em. Get up, please. Kevin, I'm running out of patience. Don't make me come up there. Kevin? KEVIN! Fine, drive your own sorry ass to work.
2. My unabridged memoirs, chronicling how I overcame narcolepsy through strength and determinationandsfgsof0jrnovuhgfds.
3. “Hey, come on, I’m not even to my log line yet. Open your eyes! I’ve got a great synopsis. You’re gonna love the part when the . . . Hey! Stop snoring!”
4. Brent wakes up to discover that clowns have become the most revered people on Earth. Can a man who has dedicated his life to the art of Mime stand to see his rivals so elevated? The only solution is a mute rampage of destruction. "Die clowns die," becomes his soundless battle cry.
5. After dying, Andy decides to pass on heaven and come back as a ghost. Turns out being a ghost is about as interesting as sleeping. Plus ghosts have to suffer the ultimate humiliation: using doggy doors.
6. Arthur has been sleeping on the isle of Avalon for the past millennium. The world just doesn't need a hero with a magic sword and a wizard and undead knights at his beck and call. That is, they didn't . . . until glowing elementals invaded!
7. In Tevuron the night carries extra terrors: smoky wraiths that invade your sleep, stealing your life through your dreams. Shaabeth is an awakener, who awakens sleepers when the wraiths draw near. But who will watch over Shaabeth?
Dear Evil Editor,
Andy is on her hands and knees crawling through the dog door, the dog door for cripe’s sake.
When all of her carefully laid out plans were thrown to the wind and she died, Andy told heaven to go to hell. She did so expecting a little of the glitz and glamour being a ghost could offer. Instead she has found herself locked in bathrooms, bored out of her wits, and yes, demeaned herself to the point of crawling through doggy doors. [There's nothing demeaning about going through a doggy door. It's like taking the secret passage from the lounge to the conservatory. Way cool.]
It takes stooping that low before she comes to terms with the fact that she's doing no good [getting nowhere] following Kent, her still very alive fiancé. Her first glimmer of hope comes when Summer, a pseudo body snatcher, introduces herself and shows Andy some tricks of the trade.
Wake Up, a romance genre novel, is complete at just over 99,000 words.
Thank you for your time. I hope to hear from you soon.
As a rule, a six-sentence plot description should never devote more than one of those sentences to going through a doggy door. You can do without the opening "hook" sentence.
I'm not sure what a pseudo body snatcher does. Does she snatch pseudo-bodies or does she pseudo-snatch real bodies? Actually, as I'm not sure what pseudo-bodies and pseudo-snatching are, anyway, never mind.
You're not telling us what happens in the book; you're just telling us the situation. Girl dies, returns as ghost to be near fiancé, ends up in the fourth circle of hell, which has something to do with constantly going through doggy doors. What does she do about her situation?
Possibly you just need to change the last plot sentence to: Her first glimmer of hope comes when Summer, a pseudo body snatcher, introduces herself and shows Andy how she can take over the body of Penelope Cruz. Then you tell us what happens when Penelope and Kent hook up, how Kent is more affectionate than he ever was when Andy was Andy, which gets her mad, how he tells Penelope about his dead girlfriend's irritating foibles, which gets her really mad, how he eventually realizes that Andy's irritating foibles are actually quirky eccentricities that he loved about her, and how they live happily ever after until Tom Cruise decides he wants Penelope back and Andy realizes if she can have Tom Cruise, what's she doing hanging out with this Kent creep?
Or whatever happens. It's a romance. Hero, heroine, insurmountable obstacles, happily ever after. Your voice is fine, we just need to know a little about what happens after Andy learns to pseudo-body snatch.